America calling ???...Some desi gyaan for you...

N number of people visit the USA for many reasons. Some visit for business, some for studies, some for tourism and many other purposes. I have had the privilege to be there on B1B2 (tourist visa) and then L2 that is (Dependent spouse visa). Each time that I have been to America...there are a few basic things that I have learnt about this country. Many intriguing and funny notes to be registered here. I will fill up some interesting insights about the USA. Hope they would fall useful for someone who visits the this country for the  first time.

1> Carry your passport copy all the time while you stay in USA. Original passport is a little risky to carry in a foreign country but a xerox of passport is very necessary. One's identity can be checked anytime any where in this country. Passports are the best bets if you are asked to provide a proof of age in case of purchasing liquor.

2>When you use some ones washroom for taking a bath. Be aware there are 2 curtains in the bath tub. One curtain needs to be taken inside of the bath tub...the other needs to be let loose outside the bath tub. As the force of the shower is so strong if both the curtains are left out side...water spills on the floor, in another scenario if both the curtains are taken inside the bath tub, once you step out the curtains again it will wet the floor form droplets of water.

3>The showers in most the bath tubs are adjustable. They have a knob on the top of the shower head...with which one can modify the flow of water according to ones liking.

4>Please do keep all your dental ammunition ready to be used. May be because of the closed environment...I mean to say...as most of the rooms are closed...and windows are hardly opened...foul breath is easily recognized and remembered! Using after mints, brushing before you go to work, using dental floss...keeping a chewing gum handy in your tote bag is always a wonderful idea.

4>Again because of the closed air environment...body odor is also easily detected. Using after shave, deodorant sticks, perfumes is highly recommended.

5>Walking shoes are a must in this country, if you are here for tourism. Depending upon which state you are visiting and which time of the year...makes a difference in what you should wear.

6>America being a developed country, most of the folk get intimidated when an American starts talking in their accent. There is nothing to be stressed about. Average American would feel bad that you could understand their mother tongue but they cannot. So here...you already are superior. Now just calm your nerves and listen to what the firangi says. They are pretty comprehensive when it comes to explaining a desi.

7>Most of the Americans are very gracious and friendly. Anytime of the day, you will find gora people greeting and asking things just to know if you are doing fine. They use a lot of adjectives in their daily gibber jabber. Like delightful, amazing, excellent, wow, awesome, wonderful, lovely, beautiful. As an Indian is not accustomed to such adjective loaded greetings. One tends to feel underscored by their civility. All you have to do is smile...smile genuinely...and say something good + morning, afternoon or evening...and say thank you.
That would work most of the time.

8>If you are visiting someone whom you have known before...and you are invited to their dwelling do not expect formality at all. They would ask for coffee or meals just once. If you say no, their culture does preach to quiz the guests intentions again and again on eats and drinks. Which according to me is sober and should be accepted affirmatively. And also remember, you are welcome hence you are at their house. Americans are particular about whom they would like to visited by.

9>Punctuality. This word holds a lot of weight still in their dictionary. They are very time oriented and appreciate people who respect and keep commitments by meeting and doing things on time.

10> Most of the hotels, cafes and shops have free Wifi. Even Amtrak which is railways...has wifi. Amazing isn't it?

11>Americans are warm to those whom they really appreciate and love spending time with. Hugging and cheek peck kissing is a usual way of expressing affection. And they do it with so much of APNAPAN...that one really does feel loved and wanted. So if you are a dear person and and have been good to someone any time of your visit...be prepared to be hugged...that is another reason to maintain dental and body-odor hygiene. :->

12> Proximity. That is another point of concern. They like to have personal space everywhere. You would see public transport or public places...crowded...but still people having a hand full distance from one another. They would not even enter an elevator if there are already 3 people inside...terming it to be a little busy/tight.

13> America is the best place for pedestrians. A pedestrian can cross a road at the ped Xing....even without looking back to see if he would be hit by road traffic. Drivers are patient and courteous to pedestrians...and they feel bad for those ped's who walk with groceries in their hands. For them any foreigner who is walking with grocery in their hands is a very poor sight to see. Many drivers offer a drop if they have time to stop and convince you to enter their cars. I have witnessed this courtesy so many times...while I was there. But I always took my grocery walking as an aerobic activity that hence enjoyable.
There are signals designed for pedestrians to push button and opt for a walk sign in next possible minute, which by the was is like a blessing when one needs to cross really wide and busy roads.

14>If you are driving, its best to have GPS activated on your phone, if not...take Google map directions preferably a print out. There will absolutely be no paan wala's or mochi or a kiraana shop to direct you to your already missing destination.

15>If you are undergoing a treatment/ or have some sort of allergy carry most of your medicines along with you. Critical or I can say even not so critical medicines are only given on prescription. Although variety of over the counter pharmacies are available throughout USA.

16> For children below the age of 5 years it is mandatory to be seated in a car seat. Although each state has a different rule that needs to be observed by its people. And because the traffic there is fast paced...all Americans do care for the child and have car seats matching the appropriate age and size of the child.

17>Most of the cities in USA do have an Indian Store. One can find anything and everything in these stores. They are very well equipped with Indian groceries. One can get pressure cookers, jhaadu's, sweets, Indian clothing and all the stuff one can need for mandirs.

18> Outlet malls are worth visiting in this country. Especially during holidays or discount periods. One can have the best of the deals. Another amazing thing about these malls is...if you purchased an item from one shop and later find out that the same or a better item of your like is available at lesser price, you can just go back and return the item you purchased at the first place. If you paid in cash you get a cash back..or else the amount gets credited to your credit/debit card in a couple of days.

19> While eating at a restaurant if you find something unusual about the food served to you, you can ask the waiter to just replace it with another dish or decide not to eat at all at that same place.

20>There is a lot of comfort to be felt in case of home improvement and maintenance. Instead of ramu's or sarla bai....they have dishwashers, coffee makers, waste disposal in the sink, laundry with washers and dryers, vacuum cleaners and blowers. Cleaning is maintaining ones house is fun and pleasant.

Each country has its distinguishing points. With the USA I can say its diversity, its cosmopolitan approach, its acceptance towards foreigners from around the world is its spark. It definitely provides a better standard of living. Welfare regulates the lives of poor people and in turn provides them better prospects to grow in life.Perhaps for a person who is a desi really serious desi adjusting to America's individualistic life may be a great hastle...But if you do get a chance t o visit USA I know you will not miss it for the world...you will definitely have great time there...and if you too find something extraordinary about this amazing country...do post it for me...I will love to hear your point of view too.

KaiDangku

As usual evenings I came out in the lobby to play with Ananya and enjoy the beautiful sunset that Norcross had to offer us. There came another Chinese baby with his mom dad to play. Like many east Asians this kid's parents too did not socialize with the others in the hotel lobby. The kid was almost as old as Ananya I guess....his name was Tutu...he was so cute and enjoyable just to watch playing around.

Tutu was entering the lobby just then I looked twice at his pants. Unusually his pants were torn so that we could clearly see his butt cracks. Very customarily, like a very involved Indian...I went ahead and addressed his parents to know that they made their child wear pants that were torn...or slit from behind...and we could all see his butts. Rather than of being ashamed of the exposing their Bambi's buttocks in public...they gave me the most hardheaded stare...abstractly telling me to mind my own business...and buzz off. And when they turned around to strike me with their severe look...I saw that crotch area of Tutu's pants was also torn. Ummm...the tear...it can't be so coincidental...that a parent can make his kid wear such torn pant without noticing.

I came back home...told Manish about it. He too said there must be some story to this. When I am having a global issue...I use Google...to my surprise the pants Tutu was wearing are called KaiDangku meaning "open crotch pants". I was amazed to learn about their use...in weaning from diapers...after being fed up with diapers.

Instead of disposable diapers, many Chinese babies wear kaidangfu, pants with a slit in the bottom of the pants. kāidāngkù, ‘open crotch pants’) look like regular infant pants except there is a long slit extending from the front to the back seat of the pants. The design provides minimum exposure of a child’s buttocks especially when crawling.  

   

 

 The design allows babies and toddlers to easily relieve themselves.

Kaidangku are worn by babies and toddlers who have not been toilet trained or who are in the process of being toilet trained. Kaidangku have been worn by Chinese children for decades.
As disposable diapers have become more and more popular, kaidangku are worn less and less though youngsters who wear diapers may wear them on hot days to avoid diaper rash. Kaidangku remain popular in rural towns in China while parents in cities are increasingly switching to disposable diapers.

  

Looks like Chinese also do not care about the social criticism just as how we Indians do when we wean away our kids from diapers. We too leave our children without diapers and tolerate the yellow output. Although it was very persistent of Tutu's parents to follow Kaidangku culture in America...a country which is so particular about hygiene and toilet manners.While researching for this I came by a comment that cracks me up every time I think about it. Some foreigner must have posted on a Chinese blog mentioning what a filthy way of toilet training Kaidangku pants were...in defense there was a comment from a Chinese person quoting..."In your country it is acceptable to have pet grounds...and walk with a shovel and pan collect your pets filth...but it is unacceptable to do the same for your own child. So much to say for a environment friendly country.!!!"

Well after all my google gyaan...whenever I saw Tutu...very stoically I smiled in my mind but not on my face...and said to myself...'culture to some... vulture to many!!!'

A rendezvous with Sitaji!

Simi:  So Sitaji...how do you feel today about all that you went through in the past many years.

Sita: Well if you see I have all the reasons to be angry. But I choose to feel different. Ramji abandoned me for his reservations about my celibacy while I was confined to Ravan's territory.  In my defence I can only say, that I single handedly fought Raavan and his troops with my determination along with my unmoved willingness to wait for my first love to come and rescue me. My devotion for Ram did not allow Raavan's greed to play on me. I not only kept him away from my body, but away from my thoughts as well. I had to fight Raavan alone while Ram had the support of of Laxman and Hanumanji. He wasn't alone like me.

Simi: That is brave Sitaji...how did you feel when you were shown the way out when you needed Ramji the most...I mean while you pregnant.

Sita: You see Simi....I had just returned from the claws of Raavan...and was pregnant, which was a matter of great joy and celebration. And then someone from city questioned my character and devotion, and Ramji did not defend the allegations thrown on his wives reputation. He fell in for the usual male honorary feat where a woman is brought to testify her sanctity and purity.
I could not believe that a mighty person such as Ram who fought the battle with Raavan and almost had a whole city set ablaze for his wife, could shun his beloved away after reuniting.
There were plenty of thoughts running in my mind...
How can he not trust me?
Even if I was away I was a frail woman overpowered by Raavan and his disciples. Even if he would have forced himself on me...the interaction would be just out of mere lust, greed and could almost be termed to a rape. Would Raavan's compelling act of coitus...make me love my Ram any lesser. And by any chance if that would happen, wouldn't Ramji confide in me that I would not lie and tell him the truth?...There was an overwhelming ocean of question on high tide running in my cerebrum that instant.
And if I really can speak my mind...which I am ....I say Ramji was away from me for so many days...can anybody question his truthfulness towards me?...can he prove to me anyhow that he did not go stray while I was being kidnapped.

Simi: oh...I can certainly imagine.

Sitaji: And even If I would have been a victim of Raavan's unjustful desires, was it righteous to punish me....and not him?...I see mirror reality in today's generation, where a woman gets raped...and she is the one who gets ostracized from the society. She is the one who is looked on as a white dove amongst the other normal doves. 'Nirbhaya' then and now always have opted to die...and then rest in peace!!!! I guess with time not many things have changed.
In the olden days men were granted the highest order of importance. As they were the bread winners, protectors, decesion makers and mukhiya of the family. Hence women observed the ritual of karva chauth...to fast and in return be blessed with their husbands longer and healthy life....so that these women themselves could die before their husbands and not have to face the bad luck of being a widow. They were not only emotionally but financially dependent on their husbands.

Simi:  Then sitaji....do you think...the fasting and rituals are all a facade?

Sitaji: I am not questioning anyone's belief. But in today's world where women are as significant as men, fasting for karva chauth has just become a reason to dress fancily, apply the most fancy mehendi, put on the most expensive gold jewelry ....and look as stunning as possible at the pooja time. There is no logic as in to explain....your starvation will benefit your husband and he will live longer than you. The point is  that....if you fast, you cut down your calorie intake...and carbs...and because you have not had enough nutrition you talk less, all this will amount to you living longer....and not otherwise...Simi...this was on a funny note....but give it a wise thought.

Simi: yes Sita....I see your interpretation a man's importance answering to many other questions one might have.
Further ahead...how was your life after leaving Ramji....?

Sitaji: It was not easy for me Simi. But I was holding lives in my belly...who did not deserve the mistrust  and betrayal. I definitely could not do this by myself. I rationally thought...who was more accomadating to my desires and feelings, who took care of me while I was away from my near and dear ones....who...was the one who dealt with his demonic conscience and still respected my desire of chastity.  It was Raavan. Yes the otherwise villian. I went back to him, told him my tale of misery after I left his captivity. He was sorry to know that after such a barbaric battle Ramji could not trust his love. He was more than sorry to see my plight.

Simi: oh really?

Sitaji: Yes very much Simi....to all extent he blamed himself for all that I had to go through and wanted to make amends. He offered to give me shelter in his city, and extended me an opportunity to administer one of his upcoming school. He recruited me to look after the administration in his school. As his economy was not as good as it was before the battle...he compensated me with free lodging and child care after I have delivered my child. And an assurance of always maintaining his distance and respecting me now as mother of someone else s child. I was already sinking, with nowhere to go...I took his offer consoling myself by remarking what more could go wrong after so much chaos!....all the hell had already broken....I should see light on the other side of the tunnel.

Simi: Amazing Sitaji...would you also like to throw some light on your concept of diwali...?

Sitaji: After the saga of Ramji and his brave acts of battle and  dishonoring me... the world celebrates Diwali...I take it as a mockery right at my face. Well, for me Diwali is when Raavan the much prophesied villain turned out to be a hero...that is when I thought it not always about victory of good over evil...for me it was rather a chance given to the evil to become good. And to my luck I was fortunate to have Raavan as friend indeed...to be a friend in need. I would like to wish all the viewers a very happy Diwali....and may the light of virtuousness and knowledge always bestow plentifully upon you. Happy Diwali!

Simi: Well viewers...that was Sitaji... speaking her mind from the real life endeavors...who was once a victim of bad fortune but she sculpted her way to a better future. Here is Simi signing off and wishing all of a very happy Diwali and a prosperous new year. I would like to leave you with a breathtaking scene from a much appraised Bollywood flick...Lajja.

Sita denies to testify by agni pariksha.

Read!!!....Don't lose your mind.....lose your weight--- Rujuta Diwekar.

I had this book on my book shelf for almost 2 years...until I decided I had to read it. My husband read it and recommended it to me. But why will I listen to him on the first go itself. I was in Poona...where I have to blame the good climate for my weight gain...the coolness in the air in the morning and nights, the easy access to wada pav's, dabeli's and bhajjis. In addition... the huge expressways all embracing with the youthful green on both sides along with the beautiful panorama that entails a happy story...a story which ends happily ....they ate and lived happily ever after. Yes...these rascals...these reasoning's are the cause of my putting on weight. Um hummm....PooJa ...who are you kidding....you can't just blame others for your own eating disorders and major lousy eating habits. I had to do something about it.

I know the word 'dieting' in and out. So what is it that is lacking. I even know what exercising does for you. I know one is not supposed to eat fried food to lose weight....I knew everyyyyyyyyything....I was loosing my mind...but not loosing any weight.....tadaaaaaaa.....this book flashed in front of my eyes...I was on a mission...a mission to read and loose weight.

Rujuta Diwekar (RD) is the dietician who was responsible for making Kareena Kapoor fit in a size zero outfit. Not only fit...but even making her look healthy with her face...not like the anorexic models look like. Starved!!! I mean. Reading this book made me realize that  our body is designed to eat ....but eat right!
Our body only functions aptly when we eat right and at regular intervals. I got excited as and when I learnt so many things about food, weight loss and nutrition from RD. There are some key points from her book that I will share with you...my intention being you get magnetized from the gold in this blog that you go and buy this book for yourself and perhaps even for someone whom you care for and want them to make lifestyle changes in their day to day life. Very soon I am going buy this book for my Maa...as it is also available in Hindi....and boy......she needs to change so much...all her airs of 'She is eating so right' will diminish with every page she reads.

RD shares 5 basic rules to increase nutrient intake:
1> Eat food that is prepared fresh.
2> The smaller the number of people the food is prepared for, the better its nutrient level
3> Eat your vegetables and fruits whole instead of cutting them into pieces, because you lose vitamins from their surface.
4> Remain loyal to your genes and eat what you have been eating since childhood.
5> As much as possible, eat local produce and seasonal food.
6> Maintain a calm state of mind.

It will be amazing to learn the reasons RD gives as to why we should follow these rules. In between she keeps giving insights about her role as a dietician. She mentions about her family in a very funny way...they say... how can your clients be so dumb as to pay through their noses to hear from you...that you should exercise regularly, say no to fried food, drink water, get up early to drink warm water lime with honey. Everyone know that. One would be a fool to pay you and then follow it. That is where her role as a dietician comes in the picture. We know the ground rules. But how many of us have the awareness and follow them regardless of loosing weight or even for just being healthy. I guess the answer would be very very few of us.

Ok friends don't sleep as yet.....exciting broadcast ahead!

RD further entails a very intelligent version of cooking wares and utensils.Our traditional kadhai's and pans should stay in our kitchen. Using alluminium cookware is dangerous as all the AL leaches from the pot or pan makes its way into your food, and finally into your body. It increases the risk of having ulcers. Using iron tavas or cookware is a great way to improve the iron content of your food, and its also a safe metal to use.

Further on RD contributes to her book by shaping 4 most basic principles of eating....
1> Never wake up to tea or coffee--my folks whose bowel movement depends on drinking either tea or coffee the first thing in the morning....please please do read as to why it is disastrous to do so.
2> Eat every two hours-- Just imagine a dietician asking you to eat every two hours, that means what you comprehend...is that one can easily eat 8 - 10  times a day. And she logically explains how we can eat and loose weight at the same time. And by far that is the only way to lose weight and being healthy.
3>Eat more when you are more active, and less when you are less active--Need not stress on that...nature in its own way...makes you eat less when we get older .....as we are less active then.
4> Finish your meal at least 2 hours prior to sleeping--My Jaini friends, your culture is much appreciated in this book. Not because you might earn bad karma...but because eating late earns you bad health.

RD has been a mentor to many distinguished faces...like Samir Bhatia, Anil Ambani,Kareena Kapoor, Karishma Kapoor, Amrita Arora...and many more. She vouches that all her buyers of gyaan...chased a few fundamental steps towards adopting a healthier lifestyle.
Step1>> Wake up closer to sunrise--She gives a very sound math...says vitamin D plays a very important role in the functioning of our body. Read her book please for more.

Step2>> Eat within 10 minutes of waking up--Mummyyyyyyyyyy are you listening???????? All the mothers...whether working or home makers.....you got to eat early in the morning to work like a power house and fulfill your never ending tasks. Beautifully she explains when we sleep we have eaten a while back and do not eat until 2-3 hours after we get up. Our blood sugar levels drop and oxygen does not reach our brains enough for us to make decisions. Need I stress any more???

Step 3>>Within an hour of meal 1 , eat nice, home cooked breakfast -- Anything that is home cooked is beautiful. RD even says the best time to eat oily and calorie rich food is the mornings...between 8 to 10 am.Can you imagine....being on a diet and eating puri aloo sabzi for your naashta.

Step 4>> Eat every 2 hours after meal 2.

Step 5>> Eat your dinner within 2 hours of sunset.

Step 6>> Sleep at a fixed time.

Now, one would tell me if they have to adhere to so many rules and steps....what is the fun in this???
RD makes this easy by penetrating the foolproof reasoning's for a better health in your brain just as Bhagwad Gita instills good deeds in your daily life are important for peaceful soul. Although even after reading so much gyaan from RD's book...it is not easy to imbibe all that she says...but even if we try to adopt a few stuff from her gyaan life will be easier and healthier for us.

Eat healthy and stay healthy!!!

Honest confessions on my 31st birthday!

Yes yes yes.... I have crossed my 30 years of life....and now will be counted as a more mature, more insightful human being....also an adjective of  being responsible will be added to my expected decorum. People will still keep on wishing me a happy birthday...and would expect out of me to reply to them very graciously. Now at 31 where would I get so much of grace to smile and say thank you to more than a dozen of people saying the same thing to me since I looked myself in the mirror today morning. And god forbids...if I respond to someone in a plain manner....the question arises..." PooJa is everything okay? ???...you don't sound happy on your OWN birthday"

I have realized birthdays  are not all about wearing a new outfit, in case of girls....getting a mani padi, or a facial or getting a new hair cut. I have been fortunate to marry someone who is more mature than me and helps me perceive things in a more pronounced manner. His birthday comes just 5 days ahead of mine. After our marriage I was bonkers on getting all surprises and cake ready for him. Our friends were helpful too in bringing an element surprise at mid nights to our house. All our ideas came out to be perfect and we had a nice time. 5 days later it is my birthday and he gives me a hug...and is nice to me...makes breakfast...but oh god oh holy god.....he does not even wish me once happy birthday. Such a criminal!...how can he!!!!!....and you know what......he does not even write something nice and romantic on Facebook...how ignorant. In the evening he comes home...we go out for dinner and next day off from work we go shopping and he buys me something that was useful for me in real terms. When I was lying on the bed I thought...oh man...I had a lovely time...I got a gift that was needed....and on the top of it...I got to choose the color of my gift myself. After I have married...there is some sort of air between me and my father...he is no more formal with me. Unlike other fathers....he is more straight forward. He calls me up on my birthday....and is nice to me on the phone....and chats for a longer time than usual...and hangs up without saying the 2 magical words..."happy birthday"....another convict of my rage. Umm...it got me thinking...does he even love me....??? Yes he does...and so does your husband you 'elephantine child like lady' grow up. I was so sore from the no greetings....that I almost sang happy birthday to myself.

I have overcome the insecurity of not being the princess on ones birthday...and still feel special and loved. The fact you are with people whom you like and adore...they will always be with you....even if they forget your birthdays...no matter what. Infact after delivering my first born in a normal delivery....I would like to say....one should throw a party for ones mother instead and be thankful to her for bringing you out of her environment to this Neverland.

In addition to my little idiosyncrasies that I might unveil in the next few lines...I might lose the race for a 30 year old girl....um...huh..should I say a 30 year old lady now!
Perhaps I should. Okay talking on being mature....the other night I finished
Reading a book on how to loose weight...while nibbling on potatoe chips and a Hershey milk chocolate Cadbury. Talk about being honest....I should get a medal on this one.

I still do my mental maths on a piece of paper...I use calculator even to pay my dhobi on daily basis. I still cant make financial decisions on my own. For me still overcoming a tension or a matter of concern still means sleep.....just sleep how much ever you can and everything will get better. I fight with my 23 months old daughter for the pc tablet so that I can watch my favorite cartoon on that.

New year resolutions!...made so many.....kept nil!....gossip is so....I might just be able to achieve this years resolution just in time...keeping my fingers crossed. I am still crazy about watching a good movie in a theater in the company of pop corn and samosas and someone who can buy me all this.

I still draw a long face while travelling, when some one takes MY window seat....how inconsiderate. I still pray to GOD when I am in deep trouble...and bribe the almighty with if I am helped out I will be a better human being...but even after dandy things happening to me....I get up late in the mornings, I don't cook for my husband as much as the normal 'sultanas' do. I exercise only when I gain weight....I eat good only when in a bad shape...I go for a threading and upper lips chore only after looking Krur Singhs first cousin.

To cut a long story short...I am what I am meant to be. I have become strong willed with the grey in my hair....no matter how old I get....experiencing life and the beauty of working out relationships will always keep my soul fresh and young. So people...go ahead and wish me ....or else don't even wish.....you will still remain a good friend or a person who I had known.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter, if you don't mind it...it doesn't matter.

Homegrown Zen.

Mother.  

This word has brought a new identity to my existence. The creator of my motherhood is 'Ananya'. She has mothered me despite of being my first born child. Ananya in Sanskrit means ‘unique’. Could I have searched any other name for my offspring? She has stood true to her name in totality. Do you think it is naïve of me to say that Ananya is smallest but steadiest teacher?  She gives significance to the phrase ‘a child gives birth to a mother.’ Spending 18 months with her now, I have known so many good as well as not so good things about me. In her small ignorant gestures she makes me learn so many lessons that too unknowingly. I am not saying she is a super kid…an extraordinary child; Ananya is a happy child with many facets of living a cool, less stressful and a brimmingl life.   

                                             

Ananya was born just when we were supposed to shift to a different apartment in the same city. So when she was just 14 days old, we shifted our house. Everything went fine. We had a new beginning.  And Ananya got a better neighborhood and a better location to grow up. We shifted from Indirapuram-Ghaziabaad to Greater Noida. The air was fre It was 9 months of Greater Noida, and then we had to move again. We shifted to Pune. As parents we always want Ananya to see people, characters and be receptive to change.The air was fresh and had open spaces to meander. Carrying her in our arms we led to a new and better living. Because of this attractive package in our Godi, she acted as a catalyst for us in making and maintaining friendships. And so she is. Pune welcomed her too. The cool weather, open space all workedin her favour.

As a child ‘persistence’ is what she preaches the most. She must have fallen N number of times from her bed, her stool, her chair, my lap, her car seat but she never gave up. Now too when I see her playing with a very ordinary toy or an object of interest, she is so engrossed that she almost detaches herself from her surroundings, her relations and only focuses on her play.  Now for me concentration has become rare commodity. But Ananya …she teaches otherwise. Likewise, it is so easy for her forget what happened the very last moment and enjoy the coming instant.  It takes me days, months &; years to forget what went wrong and still go on with my daily life. But Ananya naturally deletes her cookies and looks forward to making fresh ones. 

The other mothers from nuclear families will agree with me, bringing up a child is not an easy task. Somewhere down the lane one tends to loose temper, and shout or throw a tantrum. She goes through all that as a child and still comes back to me for me to caress her and tell her that everything is fine.  

You are my 'nanhaa babboo' and no matter how mischievous you are or how angry I am you will always be loved. As a grownup, if someone has spoken ill of me or has behaved badly with me or with my family or friends, it takes me no time to first give them a piece of my mind and then amputate them from my system. She accommodates anyone & everyone inspite of their immorality.

Unconditional love is best demonstrated by Ananya. Whether it be Shardatai (our domestic help),Umesh Bhai (our washerman ), Khushi (neighboring building’s watchman’s daughter),Jagdevi Tai (our sweeperwoman)…she is friends with everyone. Not only that, she makes them feel special because of her association with them. Such a petite body and mind to have so many fine functions.Not only that it does not matter to her if people are good or not really nice to her parents or her extended family. She maintains her own ratio, her own equation, her own balance with them. She smiles and plays with them. I appreciate her rapport that is so boundless. 

May be that is why children are called pure souls, angels sent by God to remind us that goodness and kindheartedness are merits that will prevail for a long time. So we better not brush them away from our sleeves. History proves, human race has ended but humanity has still prevailed.  As we grow up our pure souls also transform into the manipulative, selfish & self centered us.  Childhood hence could be termed as best time for fructifying children as there is less of ill ego and more of bestowing traits to render. Well, my little pedagogue has just pooped, and is crying for attention. At your service my Lilliput teacher!

My Breathing Space.

Where we have shifted in Pune, we are very close to a river called Mutha. It runs parallel to a Temple called ‘Kaalbhairav’. It is my covert hangout these days. This rivulet being located near the temple, very few people see what I get to see. Their spirituality confines them to the holiness inside the temple, but the same belief fails to push them to make a effort to go down the stairs to feel the divinity, which can really soothe ones soul.

Being a mother of an 18 month old daughter sometimes makes me a little berserk as I sometimes try to be a Super Mom and a Wife and a Daughter and a Friend. It is not the responsibility that deters me, but the fact that I sometimes forget who I really am and what I really like.  
 
When I first camped to this riverside I was actually amazed to see such a tranquil location so close to a busy township with a cluster of call centers around it. It is a picture perfect place, more like a Windows Wallpaper types. The periphery of the temple merges with the riverbank with enormous steps going downwards towards the river. And as you climb down the stairs your eyes witness the bliss that makes you question your inner self, “Why can’t I live here forever?” And then you think “Don’t be naïve!” There are piece gardens wherein there are small benches facing the emerald shadows of greenery in the still but mutely moving water.


Feeling the fresh breeze against your skin at early daybreak or witnessing the evening sun take you into a fantasy land where you think that time would hold still and nothing will change and you don’t have to go back and face the reality of life.

Trudging to this heavenly abode has become a habit for me. Between the tweeting of the nature and the scent of tropical flora around… it’s me and only me to take pleasure. As if I am nature’s sole client and the innate subjects of the ‘Green’ are staging a beautiful monologue for me. There is a small bridge that connects the riverside area to the main city. Every time I see this bridge it speaks to me that you’ve to find your bridge, which will connect your peaceful inner self to the outer urban existence who has to go do every day chores, face the other not-so-kind society, and come back here to recognize the composure that remains here while you are gone.

Imagine an empty cinema hall and its screen lit up with shades of yellow, orange and red mixed in a bowl and painted against a golden canvas. In addition to it the returning of the birds to their nests with their best vocal background scores introduces a harmonious chord to my well being. I do not want to close my eyes because if I do so I go back to normal tasks that might wear me down sometime. This captivating panorama showing the fire blazing over the horizon tells me it’s time for night fall, the dynamic blue is stealing the yellow, but it won’t be long that the enchanted ambiance will rest  for a while and next day the brightest star will shine again singing “A new day has come!”

The irony of life is that even though such a splendid place exists that too just around the corner, we still keep looking for exotic and adventurous spots for vacations. Such vacations are often planned keeping in mind that one needs to go to such retreats just with the sole purpose of posting the pictures on Facebook and receiving half a dozen comments and likes. In the middle of our mundane and conditional activities can we make an effort to find peace and solitary happiness at an approachable distance? Well that was a positive for me; I hope the same for you.


Acknowledgements: Special Thanks to Manish Agarwal for the heavenly pictures & Manish Mishra for his insightful inputs.

Ananya gazing into sunset@ Kaalbhairav

Ananya enjoying.

Unresolved Mysteries …

News is the communication of selected information on current events which is presented by print, broadcast, Internet, or word of mouth to a third-party or mass audience. In contrast news nowadays is a piece of story or a nonfiction thread that can make the reader go dumb. Like the series of current affairs that is making me speechlessly dumb. News meets a mixture of social, civic, personally-enriching, and work-related needs in people’s lives. True…but for me news is sadly disturbing piece of information that makes you think “Hello !!!  Are we living in Kalyug”. Kaliyug-The "Age of Downfall", is the fourth stage of the world development that we are currently in. As the corruption gradually developed wider in the earlier stages. This stage is the climax stage when the world finally meets a judgment day at the end of it as said in Hindu Scriptures. It's not known when the end comes, but it's believed that we still have a long way to go. At the end of KalYuga, it is believed that a new order of a peaceful global society will be established. i will be happy if a new non violent, calm and a civilized culture will take birth. 

Past few months’ series of news bulletins that were deemed as 'BREAKING NEWS' have broken my heart again and again. I don’t know or I’ll rather say…I can’t trust if one man can be kind to another just for no reason at all. So the New Year itself started with the death of Nirbhaya. We said goodbye to a flame of hope and humanity.  I was aghast with what Nirbhaya went through, her torture and pain. Finally with her passing away I thought maybe now she will be harmless and at peace. The reek of her anguish & suffering was still in the air that I spot news of 5 year old being raped…not only raped but GANG RAPED!  I read the headlines and question myself are we humans or have opted to live like cannibals. So much for sentences and punishments being the talk of the town, and here we go again with sexual assaults. Are we not scared at all...? Are we desensitized to such an extent that we as in the public make a mistake which is inconsolable to any degree. None the less, our authorities are busy indeed busy making laws and decrees as never even in our nightmares we had thought of us humans to attempt rape and puncture the vagina’s of girls(girls here comprise of any element of female fraternity be it a 5 year old, a college goer or even a lady reaching her menopause) for momentary pleasures.

Ek thi Daayan. The film released just a few days back. News and media have almost made a mother Daayan. I am talking of the much unclear anonymity behind Aarushi’s murder case. According to the CBI it was a cold blooded murder that too by her parents. They have applied simple math here. 4 people were present in the house during time of the murder, 2 are dead… 2 dead and two alive…that gives you an answer to the 2 unfortunately living have to be the murderers. Being a mother, how can I believe something this filthy to be true? And if it is… this filth is going to increase day by day. It has Nupur, Aarushi’s mother portrayed as a Daayan and her father Rajesh a Kasaai-a Butcher. These two have been convicted of slaying their own daughter for their personal interests.  A massacre that has slaughtered esteem & identity of the Talwar’s to a big level. 

Lastly and I hope the least , Sarabjit met his end early morning today.  For me he too has attained moksha & peace only by his death. Since 1990, he was battling with the assumptions of being an intruder to Pakistan according to Pakistan's intelligence services, and according to his own intelligence he was just passerby who accidently crossed home soil in the influence of alcohol and was given a new birth of a spy by the Pak authorities.  Even if we assume that if he was a spy why didn’t our authorities do something for our ‘Agent Vinod’ rotting in jail and longing to be with his family for 23 long years? He was captured as Manjit Singh and died in that name too.  After his demise when the drama is over why debate on giving him national honor at his funeral and giftng him matrydom? Will that bring back the lost fatherhood for his daughters? Will that retrieve the criticism his family must have gone through these years. Will it bring back the sanity for Sarabjit’s village men to think that our neighboring country blamed for so many grey cases may even turn out to be a nation of nice hearted and fair people?  There is only a single answer to all the above questions…. No no noo!!!

I slept over all these news to dream of a small sequence. I see a round table conference …there is huge table placed with four chairs against one huge chair on the other side. There are clouds in shades of white, silver & blue all over. On the one huge seat against the 4 small seats is a wise, white robed man seated. He carries a colossal book on his desk which he fills in with a feathered pen and ink. His four subjects seated in front are in the order of their dismissal from earth. Aarushi, next seat is Nirbhaya, next to her is the 5 year old and then the latest entrant Sarabjit. The wise man who is kindly interrogating the four is filling information in the book which is title as “Unresolved Mysteries Volume 2013-10K”. What a puzzle. If I could only know what must have been the truth, what must have climaxed that time of their demise…Would that change anything intime today? Would I know who killed Aarushi, was Sarabjit really Manjit Singh? What horrible exchange of words must have taken for the rapists to torment Nirbhaya to death, and what led to a Man’s mind for him to quench his bodily thirst by entering into a 5 year olds tender body.Knowing the anwers I would not be any different from those who know the resolve to these secrets but are mum becauuse of pressure & media hypes.

And so...all my questions remain unanswered and left to be resolved....but another grave quention now....    is 'BY WHOM'???

Chemistry is a Mystery

Few days back I was going through some of my very old stuff and I found a piece of paper which had poem scribbled on it. That was the poem I wrote when I was in 10th standard around 1996. It is not very good but I like it because it is my first poem.

Chemistry is a mystery

which we cannot solve,

if we solve we are involved.

In front of it whenever I appear,

from my eyes comes comes out a tear.

But my dear let me make it clear,

chemistry gives me lot of fear.

Stupid reaction of different kind,

never reacts with my great mind.

Horrible hydrogen, sodium and phosphorous,

ultimately make my brain porous.

Nothing more I have to say,

chemistry is a predator and I am prey.

~Agry