Statisticians had predicted that by 2020 every 2nd
person from one family will be a victim of this rahu ketu called Stress and
Anxiety. Imagine …1 person each family. I cannot much disagree with them. I am
a testimonial myself. This state of stress and anxiety in turns leads one to
the road of depression. Stress, Anxiety and Depression are not synonyms for starters.
But they are inter connected. They are very faithful friends. If one of them
homes in you, that inmate makes way for the other two. I am not here to tell
you the clinical or medical definition of each of them. But yes I am here to
share my realization of them in my life as a layman and how I was successful to
encounter them.
Well, somewhere in early 2018 when everything was going wonderful, my first
born was in school, we had bought our own ‘owned house’, debt free, I had lost
weight…I was looking good. Had a loving husband, loving family and very much
needed bunch of friends, something just did not feel good. Mornings started on
a very sad note, felt sleepy the moment I opened eyes to start the new day.
Smiling and returning a smile started becoming difficult. I did not like
meeting many of close ones. I liked staying away from crowds. Like to be myself
rather than be a part of happy (seemingly happy) people. Stopped talking on the
phone with my family and friends. All the way it was ‘Let me be alone’. And
whenever I felt what is it that will help me get over this feeling…I used to
just sleep. After sleeping…I would feel even more awful. I stopped reading and
writing. But yes few things that made me forget this feeling of a ball dropping
was ‘my work’ and regular ‘walks’ and helping my daughter with her studies. It
gave me a break from my mental heaviness. But after coming back home I would be
sulky again. When alone or when trying to meditate I would only think of what
all has been happening wrong around me, and the people who offended me. It felt
as negativity had captured my mind and soul and was multiplying with each
breath I took. Just nothing helped …nothing at all.
Since I was staying in Pune then, I made trips to my city of
Mumbai, met two lovely pals Gala and Dipti…My buddies. They listened to me.
Unbiased. They did not preach, they did not scold me, they just listened to my
heart, took my sighs and tears and still smiled at me. When we are at this
point where you know you are depressed, you don’t want to reach out to your
family. You don’t want to bother them. In fact you keep away from them. But my
buddies…even though family turned only and only ‘friends’. They did care for
me. They did not speak to me to make me feel good, they spoke because they
wanted to. They spoke to me unselfishly, unconditionally. Every time I thought
I needed help…I just went more into a shell.
And somewhere I started believing that this is not going to change. I am
going to be depressed all my life now, until one fine day my 7 year old daughter
came to me and cracked a joke…and told me that she thinks of cracking jokes so
that I can laugh and smile like before. She would like it if I smile and laugh.
That would make her feel better. That was a tipping point. I knew this could
not go on. I had to fix my mental well-being!
I thought one day everyone
including my better half would move away from me because I was so boring and
depressing. Nonetheless, my better half had actually taken the vow ‘in sickness
and in health’ religiously. He did understand my sickness and constructed in
his own ways to lead me to Health. He introduced me to my spiritual side which
was hibernating. I started following a regime in mornings, chanting a shloka
that I liked and understood…and assured me that when I would start humming and
singing again…any sort of song or rhythm,I should consider myself cured!
I started reading about the way I feel. All over the
internet there are many helpful articles and materials that can be remedy to
what disturbs you. I read a lot about how exercising and meditation helps in
such situations. So I met my Yoga instructor ‘Sarika Salvi’. I just called her
and told her I would like to meet her and discuss a few things. She being a
pure soul and a true yogi…heard me out patiently. I asked her to give me some
light on meditation for my quandary. After hearing out she suggested to go
check my vitals. She explained many ladies approaching 40’s battle vitamin
deficiencies. In particular Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D imbalance. Which in turn
causes such symptoms like mine. That’s all she emphasized on. Well sometimes,
when you are battling a big problem, and the solution is thrown at your face,
you can’t believe that this is it. It just can’t be such small things that can
give me a tour of depression, stress and anxiety. I still did not pay any heed
to what she considered.
Then I spoke to my dietician and explained to her the same.
She also spoke the same advice. And asked to eat at least 2 apples and 2
pomegranates …and loads of lime juice until I get my vitals check. That is when
I took my blood tests…boy oh boy… the results were very disappointing! My
vitamin levels had plummeted down the normal. My calcium level was below the
normal. It just seemed so clear reading my blood tests that I was feeling so
shabbily low just and just because of my blood levels. I went and saw my doctor
for the same and she prescribed me the Vitamins that would enrich my depleted
levels of blood work.
Well there is not one thing that you can point and say that
causes these dark, negative vibes. Instead of crying over spilled milk, I
started focusing on what I can do to make myself get better. I started daily
intake of vitamins, loads of sunlight with apples and pomegranates. Started
drinking Lemon water with a pinch of salt in it and also took Sabza seeds which
is tukmaria in local language for Omega 3. Swiftly I could feel the load
lifting off me. The mental heaviness which seemed mortal started fading. I
slept much better and got up not feeling heavy and sad. I started making Pakau
Jokes. I did not feel scared of crowds and people around. I was smiling,
humming songs and felt happy again. I felt like wearing happy colored clothes
unlike from before when I felt dark from within and also wore dark colored
clothes. Yellows, greens, oranges and pinks really became my choices.
In a nutshell, irrespective of you being a male or a female
if you are having really bad depressing thoughts, for starters just go and get
your blood levels checked. The answer to your problem lies within you, can’t
disagree any bit. I very well understand that this is easier said than done.
But precautiously ‘It can be done’. God helps those who help themselves. I
vouch for this again.
My side of gyaan is to eat healthy, exercise regularly,
meditate and see a lot of sun light. And one more thing- have good company.
Both my friends, my yoga instructor, my husband and my dietician …all good
companies collaborated me to be HaPpY. Gratitude is all and all what I have for
them!!!
