5 Point Plan to Feed your toddler.

Feeding your toddler may seem a challenging task but, if we have our priorities set right, this difficult looking job will turn to be an exciting and adventurous journey. As a mother of 2 girls: 10 year old and 19 months old, I have burnt my hands in cooking and serving meals to them, but learnt a lot from that. In this read I am focusing on the required rather than focusing on non required baby tantrums, nakhre, emotional outbursts and then taking refuge in junk food. Bachha kuch to khaa hi lega…jo bhi  khaata hai vo do!!! Tala bhuna, meetha, biscuit !!!

In contrast, bachha vo hi khaayega jo hum unko denge. I have learnt that since you introduce food to your child, be it 6 months or 9 months…offer the child everything that the child can digest at the right temperature, right time, in the right bite size after enough physical activity. Kids have a tendency to know when they are hungry since birth to cry and reach out to the right place on a mother’s chest to drink right amount of milk and as soon as the baby is full the baby detaches from the mother. If you can understand the brilliance of your baby/toddler’s genius…you can feed the toddler/baby anything and everything.

Let’s see if I can frame a picture for you…!

Hope this helps you to be more prepared while thinking about your child’s meal plans. For an additional idea generation CLICK HERE to see some home made food served to a toddler.

Believe in this  ‘Sahi Aahaar (food) aur Vihaar activity se hi milega bachhon aur badon ko sahi Aachaar (conduct)  aur Vichaar (thought process) !

Vade Mecum for Baal Ahaar

Toddler nutrition is a very sensitive and an imperative topic of discussion. Being mindful of that, I intend to share my experiments with my second born.  Consider this ‘Manual’ as a testimonial from ‘me’ - a troubled mother/myself whose daughter was a poor sleeper and a very loud baby. But since we made changes with her food and her activity time, she sleeps longer, smiles more, claps more…and learns more everyday. She is a different baby altogether!

My Learnings: 

Rule of nature is when the mommy/daddy bird brings food to its young ones,  they eat whatever is brought to them…and fight amongst its siblings for more food. Human babies too are born to eat anything that their parents serve them.

As a feeder we need to take care of the food edibility, temperature and hygiene. Every vegetable, grain and protein based food should be offered to the baby irrelevant of the parent liking it or not.

With perseverance any kid of more than 12 months is capable of eating Daliya, moong ki dal, oats, dal /besan cheela, lauki, aaloo matar, paneer, dahi, zuchini, kaddu, torai, palak, poha, sevai, rice sevai idli/dosa, dhokla, pasta, roti, paratha(namak ajwain), khichdi/dal chawal,kadhi, fish, eggs, chicken, mini samosas, thepla, gavaar, cucumber, salad, papaya, bananas, berries, tomatoes, makhaana, wheat/jowar puff, kurmura and in addition to all this she drinks 500 to 600 ml cow's milk everyday. My daughter now eats all these meals. Click here BAAL AHAAR PICS. for evidence. ;)

Strategies suggested:

Weigh your child	Weigh your child and then calculate the amount of calories the baby needs at that age. Roughly by the age of 9 to 12 months the baby should be getting anywhere between 1000 to 1200 calories in a day.
Study Food group	Study 5 food groups:vegetables, fruit, grain foods, dairy and protein. Study the daily preparation time, availability of  food at hand.Make a list of Local and Available resources
Say No to Sugar! + processed food	Discard artificial Sugar and include natural. Fruits, sweet dried fruits, jaggery, home made sweets should be offered instead of biscuits and cookies and chips. Extra salt is downer for toddlers.
Follow a Pattern	Serve the toddler in a same way,(food chair) at a same time (try to), serve food in bite size, at the right temperature (goldilocks temperature ;), encourage self eating, discount the mess.
Don’t Become mother India	Keep emotions aside while feeding, Offer the same food 101 times before making a bias about it. No two children are same in eating habits. Appetite of a child depends on factors like sleep and activity through the day. Show them enough sun and let them play in open spaces.

 

Hope you find some foresight here if you are a concerned parent for a picky/poor/fussy eater . My intention here is to kindle the natural instinct of a parent to feed and tap their child’s metabolism to healthy future. Good Luck !!!

Blood talks.

  

Statisticians had predicted that by 2020 every 2^nd person from one family will be a victim of this rahu ketu called Stress and Anxiety. Imagine …1 person each family. I cannot much disagree with them. I am a testimonial myself. This state of stress and anxiety in turns leads one to the road of depression. Stress, Anxiety and Depression are not synonyms for starters. But they are inter connected. They are very faithful friends. If one of them homes in you, that inmate makes way for the other two. I am not here to tell you the clinical or medical definition of each of them. But yes I am here to share my realization of them in my life as a layman and how I was successful to encounter them.

Well, somewhere in early 2018  when everything was going wonderful, my first born was in school, we had bought our own ‘owned house’, debt free, I had lost weight…I was looking good. Had a loving husband, loving family and very much needed bunch of friends, something just did not feel good. Mornings started on a very sad note, felt sleepy the moment I opened eyes to start the new day. Smiling and returning a smile started becoming difficult. I did not like meeting many of close ones. I liked staying away from crowds. Like to be myself rather than be a part of happy (seemingly happy) people. Stopped talking on the phone with my family and friends. All the way it was ‘Let me be alone’. And whenever I felt what is it that will help me get over this feeling…I used to just sleep. After sleeping…I would feel even more awful. I stopped reading and writing. But yes few things that made me forget this feeling of a ball dropping was ‘my work’ and regular ‘walks’ and helping my daughter with her studies. It gave me a break from my mental heaviness. But after coming back home I would be sulky again. When alone or when trying to meditate I would only think of what all has been happening wrong around me, and the people who offended me. It felt as negativity had captured my mind and soul and was multiplying with each breath I took. Just nothing helped …nothing at all.

Since I was staying in Pune then, I made trips to my city of Mumbai, met two lovely pals Gala and Dipti…My buddies. They listened to me. Unbiased. They did not preach, they did not scold me, they just listened to my heart, took my sighs and tears and still smiled at me. When we are at this point where you know you are depressed, you don’t want to reach out to your family. You don’t want to bother them. In fact you keep away from them. But my buddies…even though family turned only and only ‘friends’. They did care for me. They did not speak to me to make me feel good, they spoke because they wanted to. They spoke to me unselfishly, unconditionally. Every time I thought I needed help…I just went more into a shell.  And somewhere I started believing that this is not going to change. I am going to be depressed all my life now, until one fine day my 7 year old daughter came to me and cracked a joke…and told me that she thinks of cracking jokes so that I can laugh and smile like before. She would like it if I smile and laugh. That would make her feel better. That was a tipping point. I knew this could not go on. I had to fix my mental well-being! 

I thought one day everyone including my better half would move away from me because I was so boring and depressing. Nonetheless, my better half had actually taken the vow ‘in sickness and in health’ religiously. He did understand my sickness and constructed in his own ways to lead me to Health. He introduced me to my spiritual side which was hibernating. I started following a regime in mornings, chanting a shloka that I liked and understood…and assured me that when I would start humming and singing again…any sort of song or rhythm,I should consider myself cured!

I started reading about the way I feel. All over the internet there are many helpful articles and materials that can be remedy to what disturbs you. I read a lot about how exercising and meditation helps in such situations. So I met my Yoga instructor ‘Sarika Salvi’. I just called her and told her I would like to meet her and discuss a few things. She being a pure soul and a true yogi…heard me out patiently. I asked her to give me some light on meditation for my quandary. After hearing out she suggested to go check my vitals. She explained many ladies approaching 40’s battle vitamin deficiencies. In particular Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D imbalance. Which in turn causes such symptoms like mine. That’s all she emphasized on. Well sometimes, when you are battling a big problem, and the solution is thrown at your face, you can’t believe that this is it. It just can’t be such small things that can give me a tour of depression, stress and anxiety. I still did not pay any heed to what she considered.

Then I spoke to my dietician and explained to her the same. She also spoke the same advice. And asked to eat at least 2 apples and 2 pomegranates …and loads of lime juice until I get my vitals check. That is when I took my blood tests…boy oh boy… the results were very disappointing! My vitamin levels had plummeted down the normal. My calcium level was below the normal. It just seemed so clear reading my blood tests that I was feeling so shabbily low just and just because of my blood levels. I went and saw my doctor for the same and she prescribed me the Vitamins that would enrich my depleted levels of blood work.

Well there is not one thing that you can point and say that causes these dark, negative vibes. Instead of crying over spilled milk, I started focusing on what I can do to make myself get better. I started daily intake of vitamins, loads of sunlight with apples and pomegranates. Started drinking Lemon water with a pinch of salt in it and also took Sabza seeds which is tukmaria in local language for Omega 3. Swiftly I could feel the load lifting off me. The mental heaviness which seemed mortal started fading. I slept much better and got up not feeling heavy and sad. I started making Pakau Jokes. I did not feel scared of crowds and people around. I was smiling, humming songs and felt happy again. I felt like wearing happy colored clothes unlike from before when I felt dark from within and also wore dark colored clothes. Yellows, greens, oranges and pinks really became my choices.

In a nutshell, irrespective of you being a male or a female if you are having really bad depressing thoughts, for starters just go and get your blood levels checked. The answer to your problem lies within you, can’t disagree any bit. I very well understand that this is easier said than done. But precautiously ‘It can be done’. God helps those who help themselves. I vouch for this again.

My side of gyaan is to eat healthy, exercise regularly, meditate and see a lot of sun light. And one more thing- have good company. Both my friends, my yoga instructor, my husband and my dietician …all good companies collaborated me to be HaPpY. Gratitude is all and all what I have for them!!!

Drivers License : Aise fail Aise pass

My quest for getting my license was actually a learning lesson. The things that seem so complicated are not that complicated, and things that seem so very easy are actually are not a piece of cake. My blog below will sum up my ‘easy’ and ‘complicated’.

I am an Indian married woman 39 years of age. I have driven cars since I was 17 years old. Yes, so 17 is not even a legal age in India to drive. Then, I knew someone who knew someone who could ready my driver’s license and I had to do nothing. So when I was not even an adult, I got my license made in Uttar Pradesh. Pro that- I got my license, Con that- I was not mature enough to drive & also majority of my details on the license were wrong. Since I did not want to deal with the trouble of going through the drivers test and all, I did not fret much about my ID…and pursued with it. In the mean time I got into a major accident and gave up driving completely when I turned 18 ! I say major not because of any injury to me or my car, but the car that bumped into mine had a major damage. Being naïve I gave my fathers phone number to the man whose car I bumped into…and then Papa had to pay almost 4k almost 20 years back, which really hurt. I weaned away from the steering wheel. After I got married, in normal progression of prosperity... came a time where we thought of buying a car. One of us had to drive…that is when I had to end my sabbatical. So technically I am driving since 2010 on my non-corresponding license. Just last year in March 2019 my 20 years long forgery had to end. "Then the camel was under the mountain".

The folklore in our country shouts to do things in a ‘tedaa’ way all the time. So I just started talking to driving schools and agents who could do this for me. It never occurred to me that Govt has designed a process online for my quandary. After talking to about 10 agents I understood that the running rate of getting a license was around 5-6K. I thought I could renew my license and then would pay lesser amount. But my old counterfeit ID card had no results found!!! As it is my Name, my fathers name, my age were all wrong. The DNA did not match at the sight itself! I understood I could only file for new driver’s license. By this time…my license had already expired. My husband does a lot of his banking and, shopping and learning online. He knocked my senses to see what the process is online. I went to https://sarathi.parivahan.gov.in/ , selected my state and Drivers License in the dropdown. And thus I started my PHD in Driver's License.

1: I Started my application for New Drivers License. For that you would need pay online fee Rs 300 and then submit your form online and then take a date for the computer based test. The waiting on dates in Pune is always very heavy. So if you know that your license is going to expire, run the marathon and get the date beforehand. This is where the agents have a monopoly of getting the dates. I still don’t know how?…but they can get you dates really soon. That is where you would not mind paying them. Post that I got the date 2 months ahead. For a LL of a 4 wheeler the fee is Rs 201. Keep the payment receipt handy on the day of test. Documents needed can be found of the sarathi website.

2: I have driven so much in India and abroad that I thought I will not need to study. But when I started taking mock tests…I was just getting close to passing marks. In the computer based test you need to get 9/15  or 60% to pass. I got a 12 after studying also it is time bound. I think each question should be completed in 30 seconds. In pune you get to use a personal desktop if the crowd is much they put the questions on the projector. You are given remotes to key in your answers. Either ways…one must study before the test. There are mock tests all over the internet, even the sarathi website has the test practices that too time bound.

Note: My LL computer test was scheduled at 1 pm, I came to know through an agent that we can go as early as possible and give the test. I went as early as 10 am and marooned the jittery crowd later.

3: After passing this test one needs to book a road test. Road test can only be booked after 1 week of passing the Learners Test. So the window open would be anywhere between 1 to 6 months post computer test. They assume after the road test you at least practice driving for a month before appearing for the skill road test. The road test dates in Pune were not easily available. I had to recourse to an agent to get a date online for me as I was moving to USA soon. 

4: In Pune the skill test for 4 wheeler was at a different venue(http://www.idtrpune.org/). Check that before applying. You pay for the vehicle you use to give the test. Your owned vehicles are not allowed on the ramp. Either you pay for the vehicle online or ask an agent to arrange it for you. I went through the agent. So with the road test date he arranged the vehicle for me and charged me Rs. 1000 (Rs 500 for date and Rs 500 for vehicle).

5: My ego was still boosting and growing as an experienced driver. I had passed my computer test…now a ‘Halwa’ road test and then I would have my license in hand. I had driven in UP, I drove Pune-Mumbai several times, also driven internationally. What could possibly go wrong? My husband did warn me to see some videos, but I was an undefeated driving champion in my head. I said piece of cake….and went for my road test. Again the appointment time does not matter. I drove myself and reached as early as 9 am. There were 3 tests that my agent had informed about:

1>     8 test

2>     H test

3>     Steep hill/ Up gradient test

I stood before the ramps and said this just so simple. There are many bureaucrats controlling the tests fields. They sometimes behave like the Britishers who ruled us and we civilians are just waiting to be taken advantage of at our own will. So when you enter the venue, they give a receipt of Rs 99 and a token number too. That is how you are lined up. The sooner you take the receipt the sooner you take the test. I reached the venue at 9…but could start my test only at 1 pm. That is how long one can expect to wait. There is a waiting area too at the ramps.

They usually start with the 8 ramp. Instead of explaining I rather share a video with you.

8 track:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZYo5iCbu5U&t=307s

8 track:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq2qSuaGcvE

H Test:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ1BHj12QL8

Up Gradient:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKM3GkOW5PU

6: Now comes the important part. I assume by now you must know what is 8 test. So if you see the video, it is pretty simple. What I did not know was that it is monitored by sensors. The white line/orange cones around the circuit has sensors. So when we are driving the car, if by mistake also we touch the perimeter of the track we fail. They deduct all the marks for that. They give you marks for a good start, good pace, brakes applied. So I got a total of 50 marks out of 50 but since my car over rode the white mark the entire score of 50 got deducted and then I was failed. It took me lonnnnnnnnng 60 minutes to understand this.  Hence if you are giving the road test, the key is to remain on 1^st gear, stay clear from the edges of the track. Even if you reverse the car, that also amounts to deduction on marks. Below is an image of result paper.

7: Since I failed the test, they did not allow me to appear for the other 2 tests. With a bruised heart I returned home, faced the people sharing my news of defeat. People were overwhelmed to hear that I failed. That night I sat and saw all the videos I shared with you.

One can only re-apply for the road test 2 weeks after the 1^st attempt. Anyways again I did not get a slot, so I knocked on my agent’s door, this time he took another Rs 1000 and got me the date. That was one Rs 1k I paid that really made me swell at heart.

8: I looked at the videos again and again and even tried rehearsing it on an empty ground. H test seemed easy but the Up Gradient test was a little unnerving. So on my second attempt I very smoothly finished my 8 test, then H test (this too has sensors, pls have a close look at the videos) and then the uphill gradient test. They even allow to use the hand brake when you stop up hill. All you need to do to accelerate so hard that your car does not roll backwards and then get down the hill. I managed doing it. 

Note: Only the 8 pattern test has the result given. Rest all the tests do not disclose the results. That is why 8 pattern test is very important. Sometimes I have heard, that if you clear the 8 and H test, they allow you to forgo the Up Gradient test. But you never know. So be prepared in advance

.

At the end of it all, I have my 'all new license' with my correct details and address on it.

Ab meri zindagi khushhaal hai, pareshaniyon ka main steering mod ke hal nikaal hoon. I have new found respect for information on YouTube and Indian Motor Driving Department. It was beyond my imagination that there could be such a strict and precise system designed for us. Instead of paying commissions and that too pay them by nose, we should really try things online ourselves. That’s a WIN WIN for all !!!

Main hi Devi.

They were really good friends. So good, that people started assuming they just can’t be friends when they are in a relationship. Well according to me I don’t see any harm in that. One evening they were returning in a cab on a cold winter night. It wasn’t late, but the cold surely shortened the day time. Those were the times when Ola/Uber were not in sight. On her waving hand the cabbie made a stop and they entered the car. She was very friendly with the friend who was a boy and the cabbie who was also a boy of the same age thought why does he have to slog his butt riding a cab whereas this boy of my age, who possibly must be studying with her too get to have the company of this simply beautiful girl. He had a devouring thought of interposing for the guy and experiencing the thrills of being liked by a girl. He called his equally tainted friend in his mother tongue & coded that they can have a good time ‘If’!!!!   

The friend understood the stage up. The cabbie made an unusual stop and requested the two behind that his younger brother needed to be picked up from his coaching classes. They agreed.

The friend boarded the car. He sat on the seat ahead. Again the cabbie and he, started speaking in their mother tongue. The two unconcerned youngsters kept chatting. At a crossing over a bridge the friend took out a knife and slit the guy’s throat sitting behind just in a jiffy and the cabbie turned the cab towards the dark, secluded road. The girl kept screaming at the top of her voice, but no eyes and ears. This girl understood something ill was going to happen. They stopped the car. Asked her to come out quietly. She knew what was coming. She was scared to death. She saw her boy-friend was motionless, he was no more. She was standing alone.  She will be raped and then very nicely disposed off in a mysterious fashion and then become a news sensation. Her life and post rape her family’s life will become a public discussion. All this started flashing in front of her eyes.

There was a small hut across the road. The cabbie and his friend caught her and pulled her towards the hut. She resisted but inferred that her petite feminine strength will not help her out here. After throwing her in the hut they started discussing who would like to take the first plunge. The friend agreed to wait, saying that he already had a wife, so he would let him experience the probable virgin He started undoing her and his clothes. The friend outside could hear the shrills and howls. It was exciting him. The door kept closed due to unlevelled ground below. . Now the bait was almost ready to be violated. She laid there in terror but her mind still running a thousand thoughts. She kept thinking what can she do to fight in this situation. She decided not to fight. She succumbed to his force as long as she could. Just when she was sure that the friend was having the most out of her misery, she grabbed her sling bag, he still slobbering on her, she used her one hand to open the zip of the bag and got hold of her body spray. He was still breaching, very Sotto Voce about it opened the spray and squirted the mist right into his eyes and she continued screaming on top of her lungs to be louder than him at that moment. And as his grip on her loosened she kicked his nuts like a mule. When he turned over holding his aching and agonizing apparatus… she quickly grabbed his belt to strangle him so hard at his neck that he got knocked out. She was very quick to do these things. She thought if she had resisted and cried and made a lot of movements she would have fatigued and gotten bruised with no energy encounter in this manner. She gathered the uncertain cadaver and pushed him behind the door. The darkness still dominated.

The cabbie outside thought the job of his friend was done and now he would take a spin. As soon as he entered he saw the girl lying almost bare…and moaning. Because of dimness he bent over the girl to check the locus. Just then he tripped over the leg of his friend lying behind and fell, the girl did not miss the chance of smearing the leftover spray right into his eyes until the bottle was empty. He howled like a dog who was hit with a stick by a furious watchman. That disoriented him, the girl got up with the belt to the rescue and tied his feet, but then she thought, he would still have his hands to coerce. Intuitively she used her head to slam against his head as vigorously as she could, she bled with her own blow. But her Kill bill spirit at its extreme guided her to poke her pointer fingers into his eyes and kept pressing until she could feel his eye balls were oozing out. His pain sounded as dreadful as the pain she felt when an alien prick infiltrated her terrain. She then used her thumbs to block his nostrils until he lost his balance and tasted ground. She kicked him again on his manhood and used her heels to smudge his balls until he could not feel them because of the pain he was going through. She turned him over his stomach used the belt to tie his hands and then used her dupatta to tie his feet as tightly as she could. The beast inside him still quivered and gave really bad swears to her. Now that she had some ground to herself she grabbed her kurti and wore it as soon as possible. She did not have time to dress completely, took her jeans in her hands and went out to seclusion. 

After all this, she was still standing alone. She deduced that she was still not completely out of danger. She went across the road to check on her friend, but he laid almost dead blood still oozing out of his throat. Somehow she sensed that he was still breathing. She looked out for knife that slit his pal’s throat, finding it… ran back to the hut, feeling the intensity of ‘kaali maa’ she grabbed the tool (john) of the cabbie’s friend and subtracted it bloodily crying and shivering. Looked at the cabbie lying on his stomach almost fainted she thought turning him around and punishing him might give him air to fight back. She took the knife and made and incision between his buns until a bone stopped her. She did not want to sit there anymore in the bloodbath, as being a woman she might empathize and feel the undue guilt. She grabbed her jeans, her bag and escaped from there as soon she could. She could not find her phone, in that mess, she reached out to the cabbie’s phone and dialed 100, informed them about the massacre and called for an ambulance for her friend, who by the way eventually was saved.

She confessed to the barbarous stratagem she chose to defend herself. The one she castrated, died after a week and the one for who she had chiseled the tattooed on his haunches is still in ICU  and critical & almost blind with his face and identity flashed all over the media. The government kept the identity of this Shaktiwoman anonymous.

Log to kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna. The Cabbie’s lawyer has filed a case on the girl for injuring him brutally and leaving him banished. Asking for damages for his family as they were dependent on him for money. The girl still keeps going to dates at the court. Her lawyer is making sure to summon the cabbie capital punishment. Phir bhi…

                            Taareekh pe taareekh , taareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe taareekh !!!

Friends, this is a piece of fiction of what can happen/could have happened in many cases. Aggression does not work at all places. If used at the right time with right mind…it can be used wonderfully to win a losing game.  My story here is not for putting any one gender in bad light. There are countless men, boys, brothers and fathers who have the right attitude towards our kind. Cannot generalize men to be wolfish just because some of them turn out to be monstrous. A big shoutout for those who respect and care for us. 

  

Momentary Metamorphosis.

Fauziya was a petite lady who served the Sharma’s. She was a part of the outnumbered, yet she had a smile that was even more stele than a so called ‘millionaire’. Being a ‘bangladeshi muslim’, she had a very funny way of speaking Hindi as if chomping ras gulla in her cheeks. Her entry radiated a very subtle trail of ‘kattha’ and her smile glowed with a tinge from the ‘paan’. In all her presence was very well accepted and waited for.

The Sharma’s had a very young baby girl who had just graduated at ‘crawling’. The Bambi loved Fauziya, as she came daily and played with her…talked to her in gibberish and made her feel very important. The little girl would even get up from her nap just listening to her voice even while napping and also looked out for her, smelling the kattha in the air.

The Sharma’s lived in a nuclear family. Once Mr. Sharma’s mother was going to visit them and spend a good time with them. The Sharma’s were happy to have the fairly new Granma. They had always wanted their ‘sapling’ to grow under the nurturing shadow of their own ‘accomplished’ tree. However, “Houston, we had a PROBLEM!” Coming from a very standard Brahmin family, the grandma would not tolerate a lady who opens her hands while praying, she would not like the meat eating lady to sweep around her holy temple spot. No No No! She could not and she would not!

The Sharma’s were in a ‘dharamsankat’. They had an option to let go of Fauziya for the time the Grandma was visiting them. But they were so use to having Fauziya around, they did not want to accommodate a stranger just for that. Moreover they knew, that would financially maul the stomachs of her house. They thought what could be done? Finally they had a solution. They waited for her to come the next morning. As she entered they gave her some sweets and down with her to talk over a cup of tea. They asked her if she would not be a Muslim, which Hindu name would she like to be called. Immediately she answered ‘Jaya’. She entold, while growing up she had a very good friend with whom she had to depart when she got married and came to Delhi. Her fondness for the name ‘Jaya’ was proved by the love she had in her heart for long lost childhood friend. The Sharma’s gave her an explanation as to what was in store for her and gave her two options. One was that she had to adopt the name ‘Jaya’ and forget Fauziya for the next few months and continue working for them or leave the job until the Grandma stayed in their house. She had stomachs to feed, bills to pay…Fauziya decided to be ‘Jaya’.

Jaya use to come on time, clean the house before Gandma would start her daily ‘offerings’ to her almighty. Also Jaya was allowed to clean below and around the temple. Jaya was also given the the holy offerings as a very helpful Jaya used to get flowers and baby grass for Grandma’s ‘Puja’. And aptly so was she rewarded under the regime of Grandma.

Soon it was time for the Senior to leave. On her departure she gifted her beloved Jaya with cash and couple of her old sarees along with her old slippers. That was a bumper surprise for her. She was so happy that she touched the feet of her aider despite of her beliefs.

The next day we were happy to have Fauziya back in our lives. Fauziya entered and started doing her routine work. I called her out to help me pick up the mattress from the floor and store it inside the bed, she turned a deaf ear…I called her twice, then thrice… I surrendered and yelled ‘Jayaaaaa, yahaan aana’. Instantly she answered and came to my rescue. With Grandma’s shower of love, on her departure, ‘Fauziya’ departed and 'Jaya' arrived.

On Prescription: SOS Acknowledgement.

I know of so many people around me who do what they do…which is all so weird to me, is just to get generally accepted. I am going to list some characters and their gesture without taking any real names…because ‘sue’ is a word I would like to keep away with.

She is a 6 year old. She loves to visit her good friend’s family. When she is with them she gets to be stupid, weird, babyish and dumb. Cuteness many a times in our society is mistaken as idiocy, insanity or even for silliness in kids! Hence her folks send her to their house just so that…she feels that it is even OK to be dumb. We mock her childishness but she looks fwd to meet them just to feel their foolishness and also to showcase and be revered for her own childishness.

He is past his retirement age. But does not want to submit to that fact. He still slogs out every day in a very crowded public transport, wherein he overtly discerns that his income is way lesser than the investment of both time, energy and money he is putting in. But because he gets to be the boss of his own mind, gets to give orders, gets to suggest, gets to find faults in mute machines and gets to be the Jack of all his trades, he continues to work. His children are married and have a mind of their own. When they lived with him, they only listened to him, since they flew away and are nesting differently, they for a good reason do not want to listen to him, and they have their own reasons, now they have their own experience. That makes his experience outdated. He wants others to listen to his suggestions and take his advice very earnestly. His requisites only get fulfilled when he is ‘the employer’, ‘the boss’ and using his expertise and authority.

She has always been a house wife. She has nurtured her two children and set them off on their journeys. Now one of her children is in need of her. But because of her health, she is unable to travel, hence is being of no use her beloved child. Her child with the grace of God is managing well without any help. The helpless mother should be at ease. But her guilt makes her call her child every night, ask her the same set of routine questions, show sympathy, show regret, express concern. Which in turn only fades her child’s spirit. Now her child is learning the art of diplomacy of listening to the mundane questions and worry every day to her best ability.

Being a retired personnel, she should be staying with her family, not only that, having come from a town and employment which required a lot of people interaction, she should have been amongst people in her old age. But she is not! When her known ones visit her, she starts speaking non-stop. She does not even realize that some talks and facts she has re-re-reiterated already. She just would talk, until, if you being her listener, soon will only see her lips moving and cut the cord from that moment and turn a deaf ear and nod and say Haanji, bilkul, wahi to, Achha!

She is again a very laborious mother. Has always belonged to a conservative, tight knit family. But her DNA along with her better halves gave birth to very progressive children. These children in turn married likeminded people like themselves. This multiplication brands her to be the only conservative in a tribe of progressive predators (these people hunt her biases). She feels lonely and left behind. She likes to be amongst such people who follow her rituals and mannerisms no matter how depreciative they are. She relishes the company of such kin.  Because of her uncompromising beliefs and convictions she feels less esteemed and endangered by her own blood. Which is so unfortunate. She craves attention, she isn’t wrong at that…or is she?

Complete unbiased count of a patient visiting a doctor. At home no one takes his/her illness gravely. But as soon as you visit the Doctor, because you are paying the Doctor, you can spill your heart out about how you feel and how painfully you are going through this hard time of illness. There there ! The doctor reassures. You feel all better.

What has clearly happened in all the above ambiguous references? There is a feeling, an act an expression which is evident throughout. It is acknowledgement!

Human nature craves acknowledgement. When you are new born baby, you need your parents touch to and you feel acknowledged. That makes you stop crying. When you have fever touch of a dear one on your forehead makes you feel a tab bit better. That is again acceptance from your loved one…and showing their presence in your problem. The 6 year old goes to her friends’ house as she is being accepted the way she is. She does not have to modulate herself to her parent’s desire and discipline. The father craves attention, he wants to go back to the time where he was the top lineage, and his authority was everything. He breathed and still breathes like boss. He only wants to be accepted, acknowledged like how he was in his early years. The mother expresses her sympathy to her child because she wants to rub it in that she is so sorry for not being there. Hence she repeats the same sentences every day. She is sorry the child understands, but she cannot accept that she is not being helpful when required. The religious mother feels unhooked as none of her ideologies are accepted. Hence she feels dejected. The patient too pays an opportunity cost (a fee) because of which he is heard and registered by his Doctor.

Acknowledgement is a much disguised sort of a noun. Starting with a touch, saying hello on phone, greeting Good Morning, repeating Achha, Haanji, or even being quiet when you do not agree with someone…are all forms of acceptance. Each one feels happy and content on realization /acknowledgement. Virtually a SMS flashes in one’s mind –“Feel happy! You have been acknowledged”!

                 “The acknowledgement of a single possibility can change everything.” 

Camera ….Action…Cut!!!

Off late I am at a juncture where I have an aptitude to guess if a film is of my likes or dislikes. I have had chances of watching some amazing movies…such movies…that sojourn in my conscience even after their ‘The End’. Their kinesthesia lingers in my thoughts in complete awe of what I imbibed from them. There were a few Serials too that have really touched me and have proved to be the reason of… why I think differently.

Allow me to give you a sneak preview of the films and daily soaps that have softened my inner self for good. The motive of writing this blog is just to share the hugeness I felt about really common or day to day topics shown with a very creative kick.
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Batman Trilogy

Batman Begins.

The Dark Knight.

The Dark Knight Rises.

I was always exposed to watching Batman films. But being in my fairyland the thoughtfulness or insight of the film was never arrested by me. Twists and turns in our life rub reality on our face. Life gives us a reason to believe in ourselves…that the strength lies in us…Mind over matter…Health is wealth…and the like. From 'Batman Begins' I am fond of the scene where the young Bruce Wayne falls into the dark well and his father rescues him saying ‘why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.’ The way Bruce was led in the Ra's Al Ghul’s...camp…even in Batman Rises…in the well of death, where the words still echo in my mind…

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Bruce Wayne/Batman: You told me a child did it

Prisoner: But no ordinary child. A child born in hell, forged by suffering, hardened by pain. Not a man from privilege.

Prisoner: He says the leap to freedom is not about strength.

Bruce Wayne/Batman: My body makes the jump.

Prisoner: Survival is the spirit. The soul.

Bruce Wayne/Batman: My soul is as ready to escape as is my body.

Prisoner: Fear is why you fail.

Bruce Wayne/Batman: No, I'm not afraid. I'm angry.

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Bruce Wayne/Batman: I do fear death. I fear dying in here while my city burns.

Prisoner: Then make the climb.

Bruce Wayne/Batman: How?

Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again.

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These quotes if understood to its core, mean a world. It certainly lightened my cords This is ‘Zen’ to me.

             Tamasha

I was never akin to this movie. Also its reviews were dark and dull. In addition I was not in India when this movie released. Nonetheless, there is something about Imtiaz Ali’s films that I have always honored. Love Aaj Kal, Jab We Met, Highway, Rockstar, Cocktail (still to watch). Yes…it rang to me that I had to give this film a shot. I absolutely was overwhelmed by this Muslim Director’s depiction of Hindu Mythology in his movie. Moreover, the way he has shown the effect of what one see’s/feels in one’s childhood…stays with them till eternity, he remaining unaware about it many times.

The young Ved is shown to be adrift from his rich & disciplined family. He loves listening to stories, he even see’s those character’s from those mythological tales in real time. His mind functions differently than others. All the way he has a mad, free spirited personality. Unlike that, his father always wanted him to be seasoned and rooted as a professional. Just like most of the parents want their child to the ‘run of the mill’. Ved travels abroad, to a nation, where nobody knows him, so that he can animate his true self, his spectrum of cynosures. To add on to that, he meets a girl ‘Mona Darling aka Tara’ who is a perfect match for his disguised identity. They spend time together on a condition of not plunging in love. However, cupid wallops them. When they meet in India, Tara is dazed to see the mischievous Ved to be a simple, man of ethics who has a routine to follow and does not body even one vein of fun. She divulges him in his true personality. The whole transformation from a mellow, adapted, good boy image to himself as a man of different colors…style and tone, is really fascinating to me.

I am enslaved by the songs, lyrics and music of this movie. Each and every song is supplementary to the story line. The lyrics are meaningful and vivid. The picturization of songs with Ram Sita Lakshman(in thermals J), Pharaohs, Aurangzeb, Heer Ranjha, Laila Majnu…in the back drop is outlandish.                                        

                                         The Pursuit of HappYness

Literally… the pursuit of happiness is defined as a fundamental right mentioned in the Declaration of Independence to freely pursue joy and live life in a way that makes you happy, as long as you don't do anything illegal or violate the rights of others.

The pursuit of happiness is the right that you have to live your life in a way that brings you joy. We all have one common desire: the desire for happiness. As we build our life, taking steps towards the pursuit of happiness, we come closer to the realization that happiness lies in the pursuit. I other words when we chase or hunt ‘Happiness’ we dismiss from our minds that the permanent address of happiness is stationed in ourselves. All we got to do…is keep doing our Karma (action) and on realization of Karma…we will be HappY. Our pursuit lies indoors, in us. This beautiful movie tells a story of struggling father who wants happiness for himself and his son, for whom he fought for, for having his custody divorcing his wife. The father knows he is poor and has no shelter, how he manages his son and work is shown beautifully. Some lines from the movie that have made taken refuge in my subconscious:

Christopher Gardner: [after playing basketball] Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?

Christopher: All right.

Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

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Christopher Gardner: [narrating, at a payphone, raining, after learning Linda is taking Christopher away from him] It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Martin Frohm: [during the interview room, with Twistle, Frakesh, and Frohm present] What would you say if man walked in here with no shirt, and I hired him? What would you say?

Christopher Gardner: He must have had on some really nice pants.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Christopher Gardner: [voice-over] This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christopher Gardner: [narrating] I met my father for the first time when I was 28 years old. I made up my mind that when I had children, my children were going to know who their father was.

The Serials/ Soaps

I never watch serials…I don’t remember even if I did, was I loyal to all of them? But yeah I have loved and lived on some soaps. We still watch these soaps when we have the time. I will not go Ga Ga about it all the way, but however will just ink a few words about them.

HOUSE M.D.

I love, love, loovvee this series. Hugh Laurie stars as Dr. Gregory House, a paradoxical physician who loathes his patients but is a genius at treating mysterious ailments. Its title track is anesthetizing. The characters around him too have a breadth in the whole series. Although not everything about in this series is about House, howbeit…revolving around the cast, everything ends up being about House. The drama, misery and suspense are just perfectly prescribed for this Doctor series. An element of freshness also is introduced when the entire old cast…House, Willam and Cuddy being constant a spectrum of new medical students enter…Thirteen, Taub, Dr Park, Amber, Kutner... Certainly, they must have kept the levels of TRP’s on the right track.

Nurse Jackie.

I was all ears and eyes for this one. A drug-addicted nurse struggles to find a balance between the demands of her frenetic job at a New York City hospital and an array of personal dramas. Very subtly it showed the white and grey areas of human nature. The yin and yang of our inner selves. Knowing about one’s good and doing ‘good’ are two distant aspects. The lead in this, Jackie, being such a substantial character, her goodness in very petite ways affected the way I thought or did for others. And I won’t lie…I did feel saintly! Most dottingly I adored the character of Zoey. She is very raw and naive in the entry episodes, albeit how idiotically smart and astute she becomes is wonderful.

River.

John River is a brilliant police inspector whose genius lies side-by-side with the fragility of his mind. He is a man haunted by the murder victims whose cases he must lay to rest. River is a six-part British (BBC)television drama series, created and written by Abi Morgan and starring Stellan Skarsgård and Nicola Walker. I was in awe of this elfish series… In all it has just 6 episodes but really enslaving 6 affairs I must say! The song ‘I love to Love but my baby loves to dance ’ is a startling one…it gets you on your toes just the moment you hear it. Again …drama and suspense is what makes this my darling as well.

All season favorites: There are some soaps that I love and can watch anytime and anywhere…I will never ever get bored out of them. Friends, Seinfeld, Everybody loves Raymond, Big Bang Theory, Breaking Bad, Better call Saul, Wallander…will keep computing as and when.