WiFi ties

Constant consultations with my psyche (my mishter) has bought me to learn something very realistic. In the age of WiFi  we are maintaining ‘WiFi relationships’. I mean wireless ties/radio alliances. For some basic reason I was made to understand, that when someone is upset or not in agreement with me or my behavior, they talk to a set of people… which makes me think, I don’t have that spark…which will make them talk to me as happily as he/she talks to them. When I proposed this behavior makes me Jealous my better half explained very justly. 

We always have some sort of wireless connections with the people with whom we have shared our lows in life. Somehow they are the ones with you always rest your head upon and contract comfort. It is because they were there for you in your unhappy times; they had unconditional affection for you even when you did not have an upper edge over the otherwise competitive world. They treated you the same when you failed, when you tripped or even when you were wrong. It is that progression of building a connection with them, which can’t be broken whether you are close of far away from them. That bond can never be disrupted
due to low connectivity. Customarily, it justifies why a child is more prone to talking to its mother. The unconditional love and nurturing makes you in sync with her. This can happen with fathers too I guess with times changing, this metaphor would also be applied to fathers!

Our friends are mostly the ones to know, dude this guy just needs to be listened to. No need to give suggestions, just a patient ear is enough for him/her. For instance, a 3 year old friend of my daughter… we stay in the same building. They happen to share the same school and same school van as well. Both her parents are working. She comes home to a ‘Maavshi’ whom I happen to know as well. That’s the best they can do for their offspring. So this baby  girl spends most of the time with the Maavshi, eats with her, sleeps to her gentle embrace and cuddles, eats to her dotingly served plate of food, takes comfort from Maavshi’s lap when the poor girl has fever or an upset stomach. In little girls brain…something has made her understand Maavshi will always be with her in thick and thins of life…she takes all her orders, looks forward to seeing her every day and confines more in her than her own parents. I have seen the little girl’s mother feeling left out, being jealous of all the attention and thunder the Maavshi steals away from her. When asked her who loves you the most…Mummy or Papa?…she very affirmatively answers…”Padmini Maavshi”!

Very aptly quoted``
“The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us, even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance, and time, and logic. Because some ties are simply… meant to be.”

― M.G.

  



 

 

 

 

Ladies Coupe- Anita Nair.

Oh Boy.....the Title of the book...does give a sneak preview of what it must be all about. Yes..its a story of 6 women who by circumstances are travelling in a ladies compartment. All 6 strangers to each other,leave after telling their life's turning point. The main lead of the story is Akhila whose name is Akhilendeshwari. She is the one who listens to all other women...and tries to apply their views and justifications in comparison to her own life.
The start of the story is a little slow, as it took time for me to gain interest and not keep the book down. But As soon as all the ladies started speaking up .....my interest rose until I was done with the whole book.

Akhila was from a humble family where she grew up amongst her parents and other siblings. She being the eldest, she was most looked upon. Her father was a humble man who did not get into office politics and diplomacy, hence did not grow in terms of financial standing perhaps. But, that is why Akhila Appa could sleep peacefully even on cemented floors, instead of other beureacrats who were wolfish in their wants in office and also had cozy mattresses to throw their weights on!Appa's death was what changed Akhila's life and that is when she somehow lost her identity as a woman and started living as a daughter, sister, colleaugue and an aunt later on. She started working in an income tax office. Her siblings studied and got married at the age they were suppose to. But Akhila's mother never bothered to mother her like her other daughter. Akhila too, in her daily quest to earn a living and forgot her womanhood, and just lived until she made friendship with her herself and neverending wants. In the compartment she heard stories on 4 different women of a variety of demographic and social backgrounds. Each one of them told their stories to Akhila to help her decide if a woman has the right and courage to live alone...or Not!

Jaanki- A typical house wife, who is caught between her husband and son's clashes. She takes her husband's side most of the time.

Sheela- A fourteen year old girl who does not like her father's way of approaching towards problems. At this tender age, she understood many things whereas..people around her never knew that.

Margaret- A lady who tells her story to make believe that it is not so..that women do need men to live their lives. She was married to somebody she chose and still their marriage did not work. Infact when her marriage did not work, people thought they were doing good, and when Margaret mended things her way....it went even smoother. She was loved by her husband just as an object to fulfill his desires. That I say, as he made her go through an abortion just to maintain her bodily beauty and physique. Until Margaret knew his intentions, it was too late...He had his own attitude, which he threw not only on her but others too. In her own way, she planned a way to make Ebby (her hubby).....so dependent on her..that he would need her in every step he takes. She was successful enough!(Read the book ..how ambushed Ebby:-))

Prabhadevi (PD)- This lady was a typical house wife married to a man to later on settles abroad. She tells Akhila how she got fascinated with the western culture where a woman was as liberated as a man. chaah"PD chaahti new york ki mahilaaon ki tarah vo bhi baal jhulaati huyi, aatmavishwaas se chale. Jaise unhein pata ho ki unehin kahaan jaaana hai aur vahaaan pahunche par unhein karna kya hai. Unke jeevan par unka adhikaar hai, kisi aur ka nahin. Aisi chaal...aisa aatmavishwaas, zindagi aur khubsoorti ka aisa gathjod, PD yehi ti apne liye".After coming to India she did live her life like the para above. But soon due to conservative attitudes in India, she came to GRAHINI Prabhadevi. And that too she enjoyed. Many incidence in her westernised way of living shows that her husband too appreciated her western approach towards life. Living like the intended way, she pondered on a wish of learning to swim. And decided anyhow she will accomplish it. And to my amaze..she does!......In this process she rediscovers her old carefree self who does not bother of what people will say. She is happy to meet herself again...:-)

Maarikolantu/Mary- 31 year old single parent, speaks about her journey from an innocent girl to a woman where she faces many hurdles and has been a rape victim. She is good friends with Sujata Akkaa.. a lady who is unhappy with her husbands behavior. Mary and Sujaata Akkaa....while sharing each others suffering....get close enough to fulfill each others physical needs which were left unsatisfied by their better halfs

.....Lastly ....Akhilaa....in the novel...she does have a pink state of emotions. She falls in love with a boy, Hari, who is as old as her youngest brother. They both do take their time together and enjoy the time that they had alone. I felt happy for Akhilaa....that she did find someone who made her feel like a woman and cared for her. But somehow, she thinks she has commited a sin by letting a boy as old as her younger brother enter her emotional and physical state. She maintains a distance from her love and lust of life. Perhaps, Hari got married in the meantime.Again she comes back to her normal routine life where she eats, drinks and breathes just bacause she is the breadwinner to her family.

After hearing the stories of all these women from the train....she goes and stays alone in a hill station....and checks in a hotel. Must be her loneliness or her desire to feel happy and wanted again.....that she starts a relationship again with a stranger who is younger to her. Mere company of that boy and then the extended act of togetherness destresses her. She feels as if she is released from the hands of despair.In the last para of the book..her present mood..strikes a chord...of Hari.....she has a telephone number...which Hari had given her.....calls him up ....Hari picks up the phone....she answers.."Hello I am Akhila....Akhilendeshwari".

I found the book gradually impressive. Keeping in mind the cliche picture..of a woman...who always has to do the right thing...follow the tradition and keep her self limited, this book gives a vent to Akhila even though she is from a rural Sount Indian vertical...and still does things even after beleiving hat she has already commited a sin. She again delves herself into a trap which she thought she has rescused herself from. Unlike other majority women, Akhila did not surpress her desires and feelings...just because she had reached a certain age. Maybe for her....that must be oxygen to live her life alone thereafter. Just hope that Hari is not married when she lastly speaks to him!

Mahashweta-Sudha Murty

A woman with a serious heart condition had gone into labour, and Dr. Anand had stayed at her side the whole night. By the time the child was delivered, Anand was exhausted. He gazed at mother and child, wondering whether the precise moment of birth was determined by the baby or its mother.

Both parents play a equally significant roles in the birth of a child. But at the moment of birth-the moment of truth-the only reality is the mother. She is the one who sheltered and nurtured the baby withing her body while the father watched the sidelines.

Initially Anupama did not bother much about the patch. But as the days passed, she realized that it was growing bigger. Anupama had seen many people with leukoderma, but had hardly given them a fleeting thought. Anupama could not share her agony with Anand.

Anu hesitated for a momet then raised her sari, so that her foot was exposed. The doctor was aware that tiny white patches like that had ruined many marriages, shattered many hearts, broken mant engagements. He did not try to stop her from crying. These patches may come anywhere at any age. There is no explanation for them at all. Some women even get them during pregnancy.

Shammana was called."Take ur daughter back with u; she need not come back until she is completely cured and my son returns and send for her. we have been deceived. Make sure u leave all the expensive gifts we have given u in your room, and take only what is yours when u go". Knowing that Radakka would humiliate him further, Anu went up to her father & stopped him from falling at Radhkka's feet. She wnet o her room collected a few things that beloned to her, Anand's photo's and left with tears in her eyes and did not look back even once.

Days passed and there was no reply from Anand. Anu sat down on a stone outside the temple. If anyone jumped from there, they would definitely die. She thought-how would it matter once she was dead? Nothing would hurt her. would anybody feel sorry for her? Miss her? Anand....he would be relieved once she was gone. Her mind was made up now. Some unseen power was holding her back. Anupama was better than Girija (SIL), but a small white patch was pushing her to her death. Was it fair? She had finally discovered the real Anand. He had loved her beauty and married her for it. He was not ready to accept her if her beauty was marred. Ppl would pity him and that would be unbearable for him.
She looked down at the valley again, and saw it in a different light. Life had begun to have new meaning for her. She was now ready to face the word. She looked back and prayed to Goddess, give me courage to live no matter what happens. Anu returned home and walked up her father to say----Appa I am getting bored here. I want to go to B'bay and stay with Sumi (her college freind).

Hari was surprized when he saw her. From Sumi's description, he had imagined Anupama as an ordinary girk with white patches marring her face and body. But the girl he saw standing b4 him was breathtakingly beautiful; she was like a heavenly vision come down to earth. Compared to Anu, Sumi looked plainer than ever.

Anu was invited to a wedding..a grand one. What was the use of all that expense? The real success of a marriage depended not on superficial factors such as those, but upon love and mutual understanding btw husband and wife.

Hari reached for anupama while she was changing her sari. She slapped him across his face. "u should be ashamed of urself. U have called me ur sister..will u behave wit ur sister like this?"
Hari reurned home from work and found Sumi cooking dinner. The house was quiet.Where is Anu?....Sumi replied--Oh!! She left this morning. She got a PG accommodation in Bandra.

Vasant was concentrating on the unconscious woman in front of him. She looked in her early 20's. What a blemish on this beautiful portrait! One of the para's from the book found in the patients purse was something Vasant still remembered reading from his school time--
There is no perfection in anything in life.
Even in the great river Ganga there are black serpents.
The beautiful saraswati has jet black curls;
The moon has a dark spot
Because even in nature perfection is not possible.

Anupama do u consider urself unfortunate?
No Satya--Ofthe 1000's of flowers that blossom on a tree a few will bear fruit. And out of those few fruits, insects and squirrels will eat some. Th etree does not keep anything for itself. Does that mean that the life of the tree is wasted? I have great freinds and good students, and I am econimically independent.

When did u come from england?...Anand---"2 yrs back. Anu plz forgive me Every1 makes msitakes"
Pls sit down. Which mistake are u seeking forgiveness for? Pls remember that saying the right thing at the right time is waht makes a conversation meaningful. Language is a tool we use to express ourselves. It is what differentiate animals from animals.
Anand found courage to say--Anu, Avva is old fashioned. She was worried that if we had daughters their future would be difficult.
U were worried abt ur unborn daughters' futures. I am also sombodies daughter, did u worry abt my future. U have never treated me as a human being. I was only a beautiful object u wished to possess and flaunt. Had I known ur attitude towards life, I would have told u to marry simebady else. Suppose u got leukoderma, do u think I woludl have left you for some other man?.

I have excellent friends who trust me and will not hesitate to help me if I am in trouble. Their unconditional love has never made me think of myself as blemished. I cannot help feeling sad for those women who are still at the mercy of their husbans and in laws, and are emotionally and economically dependent on them. I am independent and I thank God for having been so fortunate".

Anupama, think one more time about what I have said..come back to me!

Anupama picked her books, "U are a well educated man from a good family. But there is one thing u have not learnt..U should never call a woman whom u do not know by her given name"
Anand watced and Anupama walked awa

Vasant was supposed to leave for his village in 3 weeks. He still wanted to know what Anupama had decided to accept his proposal.
I am sorry Vasant, but pls forget ur idea. I dont want to get entangled in the same circle of husband and family.
Anupama u won't be 4ever young. Who will ook after u in ur old age?
Do u think we should marry and have children so that we have simeone to look after us in our oldage? This is not right..others have their own lives to lead.
Anupma smiled and Vanst tried hard to hide his unhappiness. Oh goD! If only I had known her before her husband ruined her life, I would not have lost this priceless jewel!

Blue Umbrella

Yesterday I had nothing much to do and was not in the mood to read also, and it has been a while since I watched a decent Hindi movie. So I tried “Blue umbrella”, and I’m glad I wasn’t disappointed. I’m truly amazed by Vishal Bharadwaj. This fellow is so talented that at times I feel a bit jealous towards him. Great Musician, Fantastic Direction and Innovative Scripts, you name it and you get it. Omkara was the first, of his masterpieces which I saw, and I was speechless or I should say I couldn’t stop talking about the movie. Plot, Music, Performances, Direction, dialogues, everything was inch-perfect. Then I watched Maqbool, and almost same experience, except this one was more serious but with added flavor of Irfaan Khan.

To complete the series I decided for Blue umbrella. The title gave me the impression that this one might be similar to “Makdee”, but I was wrong. This one has more emotional touch than “Makdee”. By reviews, I came to know that it is inspired from a novel by Ruskin bond.

I liked the movie because of its simplicity and purity. The Blue Umbrella is a charming story, but it is also a powerful film exploring multiple themes of greed, innocence. It is shot in the amazing surroundings of Himachal Pradesh.

After Maqbool, I was really impressed by Pankaj Kapur and after this one, I admire him. Pankaj Kapur plays Nand Kishore, local village baniya, who steals the umbrella and then gets caught. In fact, Pankaj Kapur is so good in this film, he almost brought tears to my eyes. I will recommend this movie to all, who are fed up with typical Hindi masala movies and like off-beat movies.

--- Mishra

Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't read Maps

Great book for understanding male and female behavior, and believe me it is. It is written by Alan and Barbara Pease.  Although there is another more famous book on this topic, which you all might have heard of, Men are from Mars….But actually that is too lame kind of a book.

So what this book explains is that What we are and why we are, and to certain extent What we can do overcome our limitations. Lets for example, it describes “Fewer than 1% of all commercial airline pilots are female” and the reason is that females don’t have 3-D spatial skills. There are whole lots of other things like:

Parallel processing of female brain
Women have peripheral vision and Men have tunnel vision
Sixth sense of females and their Witch behavior
Why Men Don’t Listen and Women can’t read maps
Why females are so Touch-feely and men are Thick-skinned
Why men can do one thing at one time
Why women are great talkers and men are almost rude (or Indirect and Direct talking)

And many more. I have electronic version of this book, so if any of you feel interested, let me know. I have taken out some catchy line out of the book.
Read them and enjoy and do let me know how you liked the book.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
It's unknown. It's never happened.

The wiring of our brain in the womb and the effect of hormones will determine how we think and behave.


'My wife can see a blonde hair on my coat from twenty feet, but she hits the garage door when she parks the car'

On long trips, men should drive at night and women drive in the day.

A boy doesn't really lose skin sensitivity at puberty, it just all goes to one area.

Tests show that women rate three percent higher in general intelligence than men.

'It's obvious that women are smarter than men. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog. ' :Joan Rivers

Men often choose greetings cards with plenty of words inside. That way, there's less space for them to write.

Men can mentally index their problems and put them on hold. Women churn.

A woman will verbalise a series of items out loud in random order, listing all the options and possibilities.

'Once I didn't talk to my wife for six months', said the comedian.
I didn't want to interrupt'.


she doesn't want interruptions with solutions to her problems.you're not expected to respond, just to listen.
When you're dealing with an upset woman, don't offer solutions or invalidate her feelings - just show her you're listening.

The first rule of talking to a man: Keep it simple! Give him only
one thing at a time to think about.
Men take turns talking, so when a man is having his turn, let him have it.


Men may be able to find their way from A to B via a maze of back streets, but put them in the middle of a group of women discussing a number of topics at the same
time, and they get completely lost.


If a woman is unhappy in her relationships, she can't concentrate on her work. If a man is unhappy at work he can't focus on his relationships.


To prove his love for her, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean, and crossed the widest desert.
But she left him - he was never home.


Men hate criticism - that's why they like to marry virgins.


Don't offer a man advice unless be asks for it. Tell him you have confidence in his ability to work things out.

Scientists have shown that homosexuality is an orientation that is unalterable. It's not a choice.

Men are Microwaves, Women are Electric Ovens.

When it comes to sex, women need a reason; men need a place.

Some men think monogamy is what furniture is made out of.

A woman wants lots of sex with the man she loves. A man wants lots of sex.

Men give their penis a name because they don't want a stranger making 99% of their decisions for them.

Ray plays his wedding video backward. He says it's so he can see himself walk out of church, a free man.

Miss Universe competitions are watched mainly by men, but Mr Universe contests turn nobody on.

Men prefer looks to brains because most men can see better than they can think.

How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time:
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savour, massage, fix
things, empathise, serenade, compliment, support,
feed, soothe, tantalise, humour, placate, stimulate,
stroke, console, hug, ignore fat bits, cuddle, excite,
pacify, protect, phone, anticipate, smooch, nuzzle,
forgive, accessorise, entertain, charm, carry for,
oblige, fascinate, attend to, trust, defend, clothe,
brag about, sanctify, acknowledge, spoil, embrace,
die for, dream of, tease, gratify, squeeze, indulge,
idolise, worship.
How To Satisfy A Man Every Time: Arrive naked.


Men fantasise about having sex with two women. Women fantasise about it too - so that they'll have someone to talk to when he falls asleep.


Men don't fake orgasm - no man wants to pull a face like that on purpose.

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.


Most women prefer sex with the lights out - they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself.
Men like sex with the lights on - so they can get the woman's name right.


Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, tolerance, selfrestraint, and other valuable qualities
You wouldn't need if you stayed single.


Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex. (Used in Cheeni Kum)


Men want to wait for the perfect partner, but all they usually get is older.


Never forget that a woman is a romantic. She enjoys wine, flowers, and chocolate.
Let her know that you, too, remember these things ...by speaking of them occasionally: Woody Allen

How do you know if a man is ready for sex? He's breathing.


The flower of love is the rose. After three days all the petals fall off and you're left with an ugly, prickly thing.

If you are a woman working in a traditional male hierarchy, you have two choices: quit or masculinise.

----> Mishra