Blood talks.

  

Statisticians had predicted that by 2020 every 2^nd person from one family will be a victim of this rahu ketu called Stress and Anxiety. Imagine …1 person each family. I cannot much disagree with them. I am a testimonial myself. This state of stress and anxiety in turns leads one to the road of depression. Stress, Anxiety and Depression are not synonyms for starters. But they are inter connected. They are very faithful friends. If one of them homes in you, that inmate makes way for the other two. I am not here to tell you the clinical or medical definition of each of them. But yes I am here to share my realization of them in my life as a layman and how I was successful to encounter them.

Well, somewhere in early 2018  when everything was going wonderful, my first born was in school, we had bought our own ‘owned house’, debt free, I had lost weight…I was looking good. Had a loving husband, loving family and very much needed bunch of friends, something just did not feel good. Mornings started on a very sad note, felt sleepy the moment I opened eyes to start the new day. Smiling and returning a smile started becoming difficult. I did not like meeting many of close ones. I liked staying away from crowds. Like to be myself rather than be a part of happy (seemingly happy) people. Stopped talking on the phone with my family and friends. All the way it was ‘Let me be alone’. And whenever I felt what is it that will help me get over this feeling…I used to just sleep. After sleeping…I would feel even more awful. I stopped reading and writing. But yes few things that made me forget this feeling of a ball dropping was ‘my work’ and regular ‘walks’ and helping my daughter with her studies. It gave me a break from my mental heaviness. But after coming back home I would be sulky again. When alone or when trying to meditate I would only think of what all has been happening wrong around me, and the people who offended me. It felt as negativity had captured my mind and soul and was multiplying with each breath I took. Just nothing helped …nothing at all.

Since I was staying in Pune then, I made trips to my city of Mumbai, met two lovely pals Gala and Dipti…My buddies. They listened to me. Unbiased. They did not preach, they did not scold me, they just listened to my heart, took my sighs and tears and still smiled at me. When we are at this point where you know you are depressed, you don’t want to reach out to your family. You don’t want to bother them. In fact you keep away from them. But my buddies…even though family turned only and only ‘friends’. They did care for me. They did not speak to me to make me feel good, they spoke because they wanted to. They spoke to me unselfishly, unconditionally. Every time I thought I needed help…I just went more into a shell.  And somewhere I started believing that this is not going to change. I am going to be depressed all my life now, until one fine day my 7 year old daughter came to me and cracked a joke…and told me that she thinks of cracking jokes so that I can laugh and smile like before. She would like it if I smile and laugh. That would make her feel better. That was a tipping point. I knew this could not go on. I had to fix my mental well-being! 

I thought one day everyone including my better half would move away from me because I was so boring and depressing. Nonetheless, my better half had actually taken the vow ‘in sickness and in health’ religiously. He did understand my sickness and constructed in his own ways to lead me to Health. He introduced me to my spiritual side which was hibernating. I started following a regime in mornings, chanting a shloka that I liked and understood…and assured me that when I would start humming and singing again…any sort of song or rhythm,I should consider myself cured!

I started reading about the way I feel. All over the internet there are many helpful articles and materials that can be remedy to what disturbs you. I read a lot about how exercising and meditation helps in such situations. So I met my Yoga instructor ‘Sarika Salvi’. I just called her and told her I would like to meet her and discuss a few things. She being a pure soul and a true yogi…heard me out patiently. I asked her to give me some light on meditation for my quandary. After hearing out she suggested to go check my vitals. She explained many ladies approaching 40’s battle vitamin deficiencies. In particular Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D imbalance. Which in turn causes such symptoms like mine. That’s all she emphasized on. Well sometimes, when you are battling a big problem, and the solution is thrown at your face, you can’t believe that this is it. It just can’t be such small things that can give me a tour of depression, stress and anxiety. I still did not pay any heed to what she considered.

Then I spoke to my dietician and explained to her the same. She also spoke the same advice. And asked to eat at least 2 apples and 2 pomegranates …and loads of lime juice until I get my vitals check. That is when I took my blood tests…boy oh boy… the results were very disappointing! My vitamin levels had plummeted down the normal. My calcium level was below the normal. It just seemed so clear reading my blood tests that I was feeling so shabbily low just and just because of my blood levels. I went and saw my doctor for the same and she prescribed me the Vitamins that would enrich my depleted levels of blood work.

Well there is not one thing that you can point and say that causes these dark, negative vibes. Instead of crying over spilled milk, I started focusing on what I can do to make myself get better. I started daily intake of vitamins, loads of sunlight with apples and pomegranates. Started drinking Lemon water with a pinch of salt in it and also took Sabza seeds which is tukmaria in local language for Omega 3. Swiftly I could feel the load lifting off me. The mental heaviness which seemed mortal started fading. I slept much better and got up not feeling heavy and sad. I started making Pakau Jokes. I did not feel scared of crowds and people around. I was smiling, humming songs and felt happy again. I felt like wearing happy colored clothes unlike from before when I felt dark from within and also wore dark colored clothes. Yellows, greens, oranges and pinks really became my choices.

In a nutshell, irrespective of you being a male or a female if you are having really bad depressing thoughts, for starters just go and get your blood levels checked. The answer to your problem lies within you, can’t disagree any bit. I very well understand that this is easier said than done. But precautiously ‘It can be done’. God helps those who help themselves. I vouch for this again.

My side of gyaan is to eat healthy, exercise regularly, meditate and see a lot of sun light. And one more thing- have good company. Both my friends, my yoga instructor, my husband and my dietician …all good companies collaborated me to be HaPpY. Gratitude is all and all what I have for them!!!

Drivers License : Aise fail Aise pass

My quest for getting my license was actually a learning lesson. The things that seem so complicated are not that complicated, and things that seem so very easy are actually are not a piece of cake. My blog below will sum up my ‘easy’ and ‘complicated’.

I am an Indian married woman 39 years of age. I have driven cars since I was 17 years old. Yes, so 17 is not even a legal age in India to drive. Then, I knew someone who knew someone who could ready my driver’s license and I had to do nothing. So when I was not even an adult, I got my license made in Uttar Pradesh. Pro that- I got my license, Con that- I was not mature enough to drive & also majority of my details on the license were wrong. Since I did not want to deal with the trouble of going through the drivers test and all, I did not fret much about my ID…and pursued with it. In the mean time I got into a major accident and gave up driving completely when I turned 18 ! I say major not because of any injury to me or my car, but the car that bumped into mine had a major damage. Being naïve I gave my fathers phone number to the man whose car I bumped into…and then Papa had to pay almost 4k almost 20 years back, which really hurt. I weaned away from the steering wheel. After I got married, in normal progression of prosperity... came a time where we thought of buying a car. One of us had to drive…that is when I had to end my sabbatical. So technically I am driving since 2010 on my non-corresponding license. Just last year in March 2019 my 20 years long forgery had to end. "Then the camel was under the mountain".

The folklore in our country shouts to do things in a ‘tedaa’ way all the time. So I just started talking to driving schools and agents who could do this for me. It never occurred to me that Govt has designed a process online for my quandary. After talking to about 10 agents I understood that the running rate of getting a license was around 5-6K. I thought I could renew my license and then would pay lesser amount. But my old counterfeit ID card had no results found!!! As it is my Name, my fathers name, my age were all wrong. The DNA did not match at the sight itself! I understood I could only file for new driver’s license. By this time…my license had already expired. My husband does a lot of his banking and, shopping and learning online. He knocked my senses to see what the process is online. I went to https://sarathi.parivahan.gov.in/ , selected my state and Drivers License in the dropdown. And thus I started my PHD in Driver's License.

1: I Started my application for New Drivers License. For that you would need pay online fee Rs 300 and then submit your form online and then take a date for the computer based test. The waiting on dates in Pune is always very heavy. So if you know that your license is going to expire, run the marathon and get the date beforehand. This is where the agents have a monopoly of getting the dates. I still don’t know how?…but they can get you dates really soon. That is where you would not mind paying them. Post that I got the date 2 months ahead. For a LL of a 4 wheeler the fee is Rs 201. Keep the payment receipt handy on the day of test. Documents needed can be found of the sarathi website.

2: I have driven so much in India and abroad that I thought I will not need to study. But when I started taking mock tests…I was just getting close to passing marks. In the computer based test you need to get 9/15  or 60% to pass. I got a 12 after studying also it is time bound. I think each question should be completed in 30 seconds. In pune you get to use a personal desktop if the crowd is much they put the questions on the projector. You are given remotes to key in your answers. Either ways…one must study before the test. There are mock tests all over the internet, even the sarathi website has the test practices that too time bound.

Note: My LL computer test was scheduled at 1 pm, I came to know through an agent that we can go as early as possible and give the test. I went as early as 10 am and marooned the jittery crowd later.

3: After passing this test one needs to book a road test. Road test can only be booked after 1 week of passing the Learners Test. So the window open would be anywhere between 1 to 6 months post computer test. They assume after the road test you at least practice driving for a month before appearing for the skill road test. The road test dates in Pune were not easily available. I had to recourse to an agent to get a date online for me as I was moving to USA soon. 

4: In Pune the skill test for 4 wheeler was at a different venue(http://www.idtrpune.org/). Check that before applying. You pay for the vehicle you use to give the test. Your owned vehicles are not allowed on the ramp. Either you pay for the vehicle online or ask an agent to arrange it for you. I went through the agent. So with the road test date he arranged the vehicle for me and charged me Rs. 1000 (Rs 500 for date and Rs 500 for vehicle).

5: My ego was still boosting and growing as an experienced driver. I had passed my computer test…now a ‘Halwa’ road test and then I would have my license in hand. I had driven in UP, I drove Pune-Mumbai several times, also driven internationally. What could possibly go wrong? My husband did warn me to see some videos, but I was an undefeated driving champion in my head. I said piece of cake….and went for my road test. Again the appointment time does not matter. I drove myself and reached as early as 9 am. There were 3 tests that my agent had informed about:

1>     8 test

2>     H test

3>     Steep hill/ Up gradient test

I stood before the ramps and said this just so simple. There are many bureaucrats controlling the tests fields. They sometimes behave like the Britishers who ruled us and we civilians are just waiting to be taken advantage of at our own will. So when you enter the venue, they give a receipt of Rs 99 and a token number too. That is how you are lined up. The sooner you take the receipt the sooner you take the test. I reached the venue at 9…but could start my test only at 1 pm. That is how long one can expect to wait. There is a waiting area too at the ramps.

They usually start with the 8 ramp. Instead of explaining I rather share a video with you.

8 track:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZYo5iCbu5U&t=307s

8 track:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq2qSuaGcvE

H Test:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ1BHj12QL8

Up Gradient:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKM3GkOW5PU

6: Now comes the important part. I assume by now you must know what is 8 test. So if you see the video, it is pretty simple. What I did not know was that it is monitored by sensors. The white line/orange cones around the circuit has sensors. So when we are driving the car, if by mistake also we touch the perimeter of the track we fail. They deduct all the marks for that. They give you marks for a good start, good pace, brakes applied. So I got a total of 50 marks out of 50 but since my car over rode the white mark the entire score of 50 got deducted and then I was failed. It took me lonnnnnnnnng 60 minutes to understand this.  Hence if you are giving the road test, the key is to remain on 1^st gear, stay clear from the edges of the track. Even if you reverse the car, that also amounts to deduction on marks. Below is an image of result paper.

7: Since I failed the test, they did not allow me to appear for the other 2 tests. With a bruised heart I returned home, faced the people sharing my news of defeat. People were overwhelmed to hear that I failed. That night I sat and saw all the videos I shared with you.

One can only re-apply for the road test 2 weeks after the 1^st attempt. Anyways again I did not get a slot, so I knocked on my agent’s door, this time he took another Rs 1000 and got me the date. That was one Rs 1k I paid that really made me swell at heart.

8: I looked at the videos again and again and even tried rehearsing it on an empty ground. H test seemed easy but the Up Gradient test was a little unnerving. So on my second attempt I very smoothly finished my 8 test, then H test (this too has sensors, pls have a close look at the videos) and then the uphill gradient test. They even allow to use the hand brake when you stop up hill. All you need to do to accelerate so hard that your car does not roll backwards and then get down the hill. I managed doing it. 

Note: Only the 8 pattern test has the result given. Rest all the tests do not disclose the results. That is why 8 pattern test is very important. Sometimes I have heard, that if you clear the 8 and H test, they allow you to forgo the Up Gradient test. But you never know. So be prepared in advance

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At the end of it all, I have my 'all new license' with my correct details and address on it.

Ab meri zindagi khushhaal hai, pareshaniyon ka main steering mod ke hal nikaal hoon. I have new found respect for information on YouTube and Indian Motor Driving Department. It was beyond my imagination that there could be such a strict and precise system designed for us. Instead of paying commissions and that too pay them by nose, we should really try things online ourselves. That’s a WIN WIN for all !!!